Europe In Terrible, Tacky Song Form

If an Inter-Dimensional being drifted down from the space between space, landed with a large thunk on its massive crystal cranium, and asked you to explain Europe to it, what would you say? Where would you begin? Would you start rattling off a general history of the continent? Or launch into long descriptions of the general characters of its many nations? Or try by whatever means to give a sense of the varied cultures in Europe?

Or would you instead simply try to explain that, more than anything, Europe has this very "Euro" feeling to it—A feeling that is, by and large, undefinable but nonetheless highly recognizable. It's a feeling that often involves

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_XR5xrU02yo">random ice skaters, Macarena spoofs, and weird singing turkey muppets—and it's a feeling that is celebrated every year during the Eurovision song contest (which, by all indications, is an annual contest to find the worst song in all of Europe that can also be presented on stage in a way that is most like being strapped to an out-of-control tilt-a-whirl in the subconscious of a discotheque.)

"For example, this is Ireland's entry this year," you'll tell the Inter-Dimensional being. "It's basically 'euro' distilled."

[youtube:Fw7QHeI-G7w]

I can't believe that didn't win.