If there’s one thing pop singer and Voltron combined of the cast of Mean Girls Taylor Swift is known for, it’s writing subtweets disguised as songs. But if there’s a second thing, it’s almost certainly being an enthusiastic fan of the exciting and fast-paced world of copyright law and trademark-infringement protections. Which is why it should be no surprise to learn she’s applied for trademarks to several phrases from her upcoming album Reputation, the better to then slap those phrases across everything from t-shirts to hats to those commemorative Fabergé eggs the kids all love, presumably.
Truly, the dizzying beat of her hit single “Shake It Off” is matched only by the dizzying speed with which you will be slapped with a lawsuit, should you try to utilize the phrase “this sick beat” on any products you may have been designing. Swift is the proud owner of a whole host of trademarked phrases based off of her music, including “Cause We Never Go Out Of Style,” “Could Show You Incredible Things,” and “Party like it’s 1989,” a phrase that has for sure stood the test of time better than its decade-later progenitor.
The new round of phrases Swift hopes to make the sole property of Singer, Taylor, Soldier, Spy Inc. (we’re just guessing, but that’s almost certainly the name of her company) include the title of single “Look What You Made Me Do,” a super fun and sassy line referencing what domestic abusers are famous for saying in order to inculcate a victim-blaming mentality in their targets. Additionally, Swift has filed to trademark “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now,” perhaps because old Taylor was sued out of existence for daring to put “this sick beat” on a shampoo bottle or something. Mashable reports these trademarks will apply to a host of products, including “magnetically encoded gift cards, reusable shopping bags, ornamental cloth patches, shoe laces, and bathrobes.” Finally, the present for the Taylor Swift fan who has everything: A cease-and-desist letter for their homemade backpack patches.
If anything, Swift might want to consider trademarking the absolutely crushing burns she delivered to the opposing lawyer during her recent lawsuit, as those were recent much more favorably than “Look What You Made Me Do.”