For a mere $20,000, spend this New Year's Eve with—you guessed it—Frank Stallone

With the holidays rapidly approaching, the time is nigh to begin making plans for New Year’s Eve, lest you end up spending it in the company of hangers-on or tiresome relatives, the night dedicated to looking forward to the future squandered on reminders of the past. Instead, you could spend it with—you guessed it—Frank Stallone, and that way you’d also at least hear some rock ballads. The younger Stallone is currently auctioning his “entertainment services” this New Year’s at the starting bid of just $20,000, saying he “can’t decide where to close out 2013”—a problem that, should you share it, you can solve for everyone by paying Frank Stallone to play your party. And really, who can put a price on that? Not even Frank Stallone, who says that, in addition to your bid, you’ll also be paying to provide his band’s instruments, “up to” six airline tickets and hotel rooms, a professional car service, all of their meals, plus an unspecified per diem.