Former McDonald’s CEO says raising the minimum wage will cause a robot apocalypse

By Sam Barsanti  |  May 25, 2016 | 10:11pm
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Former McDonald’s CEO says raising the minimum wage will cause a robot apocalypse
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Just yesterday, we reported on Pizza Hut’s plan to use a robotic cashier named Pepper in some of its Asian locations. Apparently, Pepper will be able to personalize its interactions with customers by remembering their previous orders and somehow scanning their emotions, and though it sounds like that’s setting the stage for a future where all Pizza Huts are staffed by robots, the company claims that Pepper isn’t meant to replace humans entirely. That, of course, is nonsense. As we explained yesterday, the documentary film Terminator 2: Judgement Day showed us that it’s just a matter of time before robots like Pepper rise up and exterminate the entire human race. The apocalypse is inevitable, and all we can do is try and hold it back for as long as possible.

Thankfully, at least one person out there sees Judgement Day coming, and he knows exactly what’s going to cause it. This real life John Connor is former McDonald’s CEO Ed Rensi, and during a recent appearance on Fox Business’ Mornings With Maria, he declared that raising the minimum wage will force more and more restaurants to follow Pizza Hut’s lead by replacing human workers with automatic fry-baggers, BurgerTrons, and—eventually—murderous KillBots. Rensi says he recently attended the National Restaurant Show, and he realized that “it’s cheaper to buy a $35,000 robotic arm” than it is to hire a real person and pay them $15 an hour. He believes that “it’s just common sense” for restaurants like McDonald’s to use machines, and he claims “it’s going to happen whether you like it or not” (just like Judgement Day).

Clearly, then, mankind’s only hope is to continue paying fast food employees an unbearably low wage that will prevent them from being able to afford things they need like food, shelter, and medical care. Then, the weak ones will die out and introduce a generation of Spartan fast food employees who had to fight to survive and were raised on the idea that a machine will take their job if they don’t work hard enough. They’ll hate the machines, they’ll fear the machines, and they’ll blindly follow orders from mankind’s rightful rulers, the former fast food company CEOs. That way, when Judgement Day does come, at least the rich people will have managed to hold onto their power for a little bit longer.

Finally, if the threat still isn’t clear enough, here’s some chilling footage of a world where the minimum wage is $15 an hour:

[via Ars Technica]

 
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