What’s the best part of the holidays? Is it the smell of evergreen pine gently wafting over to a crackling fire? Is it snow falling silently outside your window as Christmas Eve turns to Christmas morning? Perhaps it’s merely the chance to take a moment of respite with friends and family, reflect on the year past, and meditate on the possibilities of the year to come? No, according to former Ticketmaster CEO Nathan Hubbard, the best part of the holidays is the chance to keep working, and then working some more, preferably until you fucking drop dead:
That’s right! ‘Tis the season to crush it, bro! Quit lighting candles on the menorah and light a fire under your ass! Stop dreaming of a white Christmas and start dreaming of a Q1 in the black you piece of shit! Of course some people, people who don’t have what it goddamn takes, jumped on Twitter to bitch about how Hubbard’s suggestion was “unrealistic” and “cruel.”
But come on! These guys are all just haters and losers, right? Rest is for the homeless! Have any of these also-rans ever spent the time grinding necessary to come up with a genius idea like “What if bullshit fees, but even more of them?” Can taking time for family really be that important? Surely not compared to (reverent pause) hustling? Let’s just take a look at why Hubbard left his last job, as a VP at hell website Twitter:
Huh. That’s strange. It’s almost as if spending time with family is... important? And what’s more, is it possible most of us don’t have the luxury of quitting our high-profile jobs at the white supremacist PR company when we need to do so—making the winter holidays one of the few times most people get to spend quality time with their families? And doesn’t all this assume that most people even get the next two weeks off to begin with? There’s no way that this is all just bullshit faux-inspirational garbage spouting from an asshole who’s actually spending his next two weeks sitting on a beach, right?
Ah, yes! See? That’s exactly right: Lose some weight, fatties.