From my Inbox:

THIS JUST IN…From CBS Entertainment


Kudos, CBS Entertainment. You're really conveying a sense of urgency here with the "This just in" and the all-caps, and the ellipses, and the strange emphasis on certain words. Also, it appears that this press release is written in some kind of indecipherable, though highly rhythmic verse. It's all very exciting. In fact, if this were the 1930s and I were at the helm of a great newspaper, and this press release arrived at my office via carrier pigeon (the original email), I would have grabbed the pigeon by its legs, swung it into my press room, and shouted, "Stop the presses! We got a bird with a juicy bit here, fellas. Print the pige!"

Of course, this is 2008, so I have no idea what this is supposed to mean—though something tells me it's going to be punny!

Project Gary, CBS's new fall comedy, has been re-titled GARY UNMARRIED.

However, series star Jay Mohr, who portrays a recently divorced father on the CBS series, is anything but unmarried in real life. In fact, Mohr and his wife, actress Nikki Cox, are overseas this week renewing their wedding vows.

GARY UNMARRIED is a comedy about a recently single painting contractor, and his controlling ex-wife, Allison, who face post-divorce mayhem after 15 years of marriage as they each embark on new relationships.


Um, what? I (unfortunately) know what Project Gary is—although I know it by its colloquial title: Tappin' That With Jay Mohr & Son—but I'm not exactly sure what this press release is trying to tell me. So the name of the show is now "Gary Unmarried," and in order to distinguish himself from his TV character, Jay Mohr just got married to the extreme?

So CBS sent Jay Mohr (and spouse) to an undisclosed location overseas to renew his wedding vows just for the, "Gary Unmarried but Jay MORE married" pun?

I would like to raise my "What?" with a "Why?"

Still, congratulations, CBS. You have managed to create the stupidest press release ever (and that includes the Dog The Bounty Hunter book press release).