VAN NUYS, Calif. – The ongoing bout between Apple Inc. and the adult industry continued to heat up today as [name of idiotic company redacted] announced the launch of iTouchHer, a new adult web-app for the iPhone that offers a series of humorous, porn-related games.
My first instinct is always to delete press releases before their slimy, corrosive ooze has a chance to destroy my email, but sometimes these press releases have valuable lessons to teach us. For instance, I had no idea that Apple was in some kind of protracted, sweaty fencing match with the adult industry, but now I do! Thankfully, someone out there is ready to take on Apple in the name of a cause as worthy as humorous porn-related games. It's really a natural fit, because when people think "porn" they think "I'd like to watch that on a tiny screen, in the form of a stupid game that is so life-draining and awful, I run to the nearest hardware store, and crush my iPhone in a vise just to make sure that game is dead."
In short: This can't miss!
“We wanted to create a web-app that would not only appeal to the typical adult consumer, but also to the gadget-hungry Gizmodo and Engadget crowd,” said Lea Busick, subscription site and affiliate program director. “With that in mind, it didn’t take us long to decide to create a game application with a variety of sexy and funny games that iPhone users can get a kick out of playing and then share and compare their scores with others by posting the results to social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.”