Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, May 25. All times are Eastern.
Grace Of Monaco (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): Girl, this movie is next-level bad. Not even its stellar cast—including Nicole Kidman, Tim Roth, Frank Langella, and Parker Posey—can save the mess that is this Cannes-to-Lifetime film. But sometimes you just have to make something this bad your top pick, because hey, Monday night television is rough, and at least Grace Of Monaco is probably conducive to a drinking game! We can’t imagine a better way to spend Memorial Day! Okay, we can, but this also isn’t the worst way to spend Memorial Day.
American Ninja Warrior (NBC, 8 p.m.): For six seasons now, no one has ever achieved “total victory” on American Ninja Warrior. Could the seventh season finally discover The One True American Ninja Warrior? Probably not, because this shit is hard. Season seven opens with the qualifying round in Venice Beach. People will try, most will fail. The world continues to wait for TOTANW.
RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo, 9 p.m.)
WWE Monday Night Raw (USA, 8 p.m.)
There’s still time to dive into one of the shows on The A.V. Club’s bingeing guide for the long weekend. And in honor of the holiday, TV Club takes a look at television’s parades gone wrong in the latest Inventory.
500 Questions (ABC, 8 p.m.): On 500 Questions, really smart know it alls who are always ruining parties with their “fun” facts compete to answer 500 general knowledge questions. There are no lifelines, saves, helps, or multiple choice. If you get three wrong in a row, you’re out of there.
The Bachelorette (ABC, 9 p.m.): Laila Ali and Amy Schumer drop by The Bachelorette tonight, and the guys are going to try boxing and stand-up comedy, but the latter sounds much more painful.
The Island (NBC, 10 p.m.): On this new reality show hosted by Bear Grylls, 14 regular ol’ men are taken to an isolated island to try to survive! Based on the promos and the fact that the series premiere is titled “Man Up,” the show might as well be called Masculinity Island.
TURN: Washington’s Spies (AMC, 10 p.m.): Hey, it’s no Mad Men. But it’s something. And the show has a character named Peggy, apparently!
Memorial Day (The CW, 8 p.m.): The CW is showing Memorial Day on Memorial Day! Look at you, The CW!
National Treasure (ABC Family, 5:30 p.m.): But ABC Family is showing the much more important work of cinema, National Treasure. When Nicolas Cage says he’s going to steal the Declaration Of Independence, you better believe he’s going to steal the Declaration Of Independence.
Legally Blonde (Oxygen, 6 p.m.): We’re putting a lot of movies on here, because Monday night television doesn’t have a whole lot going for it lately, and it’s a holiday, damnit!
MLB Baseball: Tigers At Atheletics (ESPN 4 p.m.): We just wanted an excuse to link to this again.
Salem: Are you watching Salem? You should definitely be watching Salem. And you should also be reading LaToya Ferguson’s TV Club reviews of Salem.