Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Grease yourself up with KFC’s fried chicken-scented sunscreen

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Having perfected the art of food presentation the second it dumped a bunch of chicken in a bucket, a restless KFC has spent many of the intervening years attempting to innovate new spaces to put fried chicken, where once fried chicken was not. Thus far, KFC’s signature chicken has replaced the staples of bread and handjobs, been lashed to the wrist and spread about the fingernails, and lodged itself deeply within the colon of pop culture. And now you can slather it all over yourself in the form of KFC’s Extra Crispy Sunscreen, an SPF 30 lotion that replaces the usual, post-coital-coconut smell of regular sunscreen with the Colonel’s tangy 11 herbs and spices.


“We’ve had a lot of fun with our Extra Crispy Colonel campaign this summer and the sunscreen idea seemed like a natural fit,” said an insane person in an interview with Fortune, repeatedly referring to smelling like fried chicken as “fun,” in that way that all KFC employees must tell themselves as they’re pursued by bees. This natural progression from casting the unnervingly tan George Hamilton as the latest, most desiccated incarnation of the company’s dead founder, to adding artificial fried chicken odor into a tube of suntan lotion, is one that KFC has obviously been building to for a while—most recently heralded by the aforementioned KFC nail polish, and gloriously untrammeled by a corporate structure that mostly involves pointing to things and yelling, “We should put fried chicken in there.”

Of course, unlike the KFC nail polish, Extra Crispy Sunscreen isn’t edible (technically speaking), which could explain why KFC only offered it for free, in a limited-edition batch of just 3,000 bottles. That short supply is already gone, snapped up quickly by Looney Tunes characters bound for desert islands and fans of KFC’s increasingly meme-friendly, lol-so-randomness. Fortunately, there are still plenty of other ways to be harassed by seagulls—and besides, at this rate, we’re only a few product cycles away from KFC figuring out how to graft fried chicken directly over our human skin.