Group G, you are going to give us a heart attack
Here’s what’s up in the world of television for Thursday, June 26. All times are Eastern.
TOP PICK
World Cup: Group G, United States vs. Germany (noon, ESPN): This group just gets more and more stressful, but after today, it should be all but done. America is playing Germany at noon, as Ghana plays Portugal, and due to the complicated mathematics behind World Cup advancement, any number of things could happen. Look, we really were impressed with ourselves for figuring out the offsides rule without ESPN explaining it to us. But goal differentials are more perplexing. Anyway, the match is kind of important, though anything could happen, except Germany will probably end up advancing, so who knows what will happen to America. Stephen Colbert did us a favor by trying to explain it all on his show:
The Colbert Report
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ALSO NOTED
World Cup: Group G, Portugal vs. Ghana (noon, ESPN2): The other game. See above for hyper-ventilating.
Hey Bartender (Showtime, 8:25 p.m.): A Showtime original documentary on the currently hip craft of tending bar, following two bartenders at the top of their game and touring “exclusive” bars in New York City.
Trailblazers (Logo, 9 p.m.): Logo honors trailblazers in the fields of gay and trans rights activism with a one-hour special event at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City, which is one of the first churches to offer gay marriage in New York. The special will include performers, politicians, and “trendsetters.”
REGULAR COVERAGE
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.)
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.)
Defiance (Syfy, 8 p.m.)
Rectify (Sundance, 9 p.m.)
Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.)
SOME OTHER STUFF THAT IS ON
Gang Related (Fox, 9 p.m.)
Undateable (NBC, 9 p.m.)
Dominion (Syfy, 9 p.m.)
Maron (IFC, 10 p.m.)
The Challenge (MTV, 10 p.m.)
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Monty Python’s Flying Circus (1 p.m.): What would a flying circus look like, anyway? We once saw a bit on Looney Tunes about a flea circus. That we may have imagined. But there were fleas, who were married, and kept reproducing. Zack Handlen wishes we would focus on the matter at hand.