Halo Top is not fucking around with this horror movie of an ad 

By Randall Colburn  |  September 8, 2017 | 4:22pm
Aux Features Food


Halo Top is a magical creation that has the same taste and consistency of ice cream, but only a few hundred calories per pint (yes, pint). While we’ll probably one day discover that this was all some kind of Seinfeldian fuckery, the brand’s status as the healthiest of alternatives is in its own kind of marketing campaign. So confident is Halo Top in its product’s innate appeal that they’ve made a commercial that practically dares its audience not to eat ice cream.

In its latest ad, director Mike Dahlquist plants an elderly woman at the center of an all-white room plucked from 2001: A Space Odyssey’s third act, then brings in a robot with the calm, forceful temperament of HAL 9000 to give the woman some ice cream. It’s not even Halo Top ice cream, just some random-ass vanilla. She has a bite or two, then begins to ask where she is and how long she’s been there. “Humans require ice cream,” the robot asserts, pressing it to her mouth and reminding all of us just how gross it is to actually watch someone eat melty, white ice cream.

But then comes its eeriest twist: “Where is David?” she asks. That’s when the robot’s chest cavity slowly opens, revealing an ice cream cone that, one can argue, is made from this figure from her past. “Everyone you love is gone,” the robot says. “There is only ice cream.” Cut to: The Halo Top branding.

We look forward to their next light-hearted riff on the end of Requiem For a Dream. The stuff really is pretty good, though.

 
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