Earlier this week, the Justice Department announced its seizure of approximately $3.6 billion in bitcoin allegedly laundered by a husband and wife in connection with the infamous 2016 Bitfinex cryptocurrency hack. Upon their arrests, Ilya Lichtenstein and his partner, Heather Morgan, reportedly still had around $330 million in unrecovered bitcoin, along with a bag labelled “Burner Phones” stowed underneath their bed. The two are currently out on a collective $8 million bond, and are ordered to remain under house arrest in their New York City home while awaiting trial.
But all that pales in comparison to Ms. Morgan’s most egregious, obscene crime against humanity: prior to her arrest, she frequently dabbled in pseudo-parody rap under the alias “Razzlekhan.”
In the days since this revelation came to light, it appears she, or someone affiliated with her, has switched her YouTube music videos to “Private.” But much like viewers of Razzlekhan’s horror, the Internet can never, ever forget and some of the videos have been reposted for your viewing pleasure.
Good people of the jury, we present to you “Rap Anthem for Misfits and Weirdos,” in which Morgan spews slant rhyme word vomit while painfully “dancing” a drunken path down Wall Street in a way that somehow manages to whitewash Kreayshawn. There are, of course, many, many other visual and auditory sins, and unfortunately this isn’t the only music video from Morgan.
There’s also one filmed while she and her husband were apparently visiting Vietnam, along with another that includes the syllabically dizzying lines “You ain’t too smart / below the chart / didn’t have your head start / but hustling my art / scaling up like Walmart.” Indeed.
Normally, we’d argue that taking cheap potshots at something as half-assed and cringey (an overused term that remains 100% applicable here) as Morgan’s Razzlekhan is lazy at best, and mean-spirited at worst. But this woman and her husband allegedly helped launder billions of dollars in other people’s money, presumably to bankroll a lifestyle that included the aforementioned trip to Vietnam so that Morgan could do shit like repeatedly make agonizingly un-self aware jerk-off motions into the camera.
It’s fair game, is what we’re saying.
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