It was bound to happen. Hollywood celebrities love to rap, they love to rhyme, the Emmys are on, it’s embarrassing time.
Following the breakout success of Glenn Close knowing “Da Butt” at the Da Oscars, Emmy producers attempted to one-up the Oscar nominee feigning knowledge of E.U. with Lil Rel Howery. As charming as it was to hear the star of The Wife shouting out Sugar Bear, the Backyard Band, and the whole DMV, we should be thanking Steven Soderbergh for not forcing her to rap.
The same cannot be said about Rita Wilson.
In a star-packed sing-along set to the beat of Biz Markie’s “Just A Friend,” TV’s brightest paid tribute to the late, great rapper by turning his song into a little number about television. Highlights include NCIS’ own LL Cool J showing off some of his mic skills (who knew?), while the low-lights include Lil Dicky from Dave rapping, “I came up on Friends, Curb, and Seinfeld. I’m so white, but love me some Black-ish.” In Dicky’s defense, he did end the rap, “I’ve got to take a Schitt… s creek.”
But perhaps taking a cue from her son, the internet-famous rapper Chet Hanks, Rita Wilson delivered a third verse, wherein she gave props to all the streaming services that drove us crazy this year. “Hulu, who knew they had so much TV,” Wilson rapped. “This dude HBO Max, I got for free. And this rap wouldn’t be complete. I’ve gotta give a shout out to Sesame Street. So many characters, I love, in fact, that’s Bert and Ernie’s business, we don’t care about that.”
It was at that moment that an unprecedented wave of cringe crash-landed on America’s shores as unsuspecting Emmy parties throughout the country were exposed. One only hopes that enough viewers were socially distancing so hard that they weren’t able to spread cringe to others. Luckily, if you’re one of those who likes secondhand embarrassment, you can watch the whole thing here at The A.V. Club, where, no doubt, a commenter this very moment is calling this post cringe. You got what I need, indeed.