Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Here’s the Star Wars indie film we never knew we wanted

With the end of the current Star Wars trilogy on the horizon and Disney showing no sign that they want to stop making films that exist in that cinematic universe, it’s only a matter of time before we start getting more intimate Star Wars movies that deal with the smaller stories from a galaxy far, far away. Perhaps we’ll see a political drama in the Imperial Senate, a workplace comedy in Cloud City, or, if Funny Or Die had their way, a romantic indie starring a Stormtrooper and a Rodian.


STORM: A Star Wars Indie, tells the story of Ian, a reluctant Stormtrooper who balances serving the Empire with caring for his aging, ex-Stormtrooper father. One day, while sulking over a drink in a local cantina, Ian meets Teedo, a Rodian bounty hunter with whom he soon forms a forbidden relationship. What follows in the mock-trailer is a montage of cliche indie movie moments, including a romantic tryst on the sun-streaked forest moon of Endor, the protagonist incessantly and inexplicably playing his ukulele, and Ian being told by a doctor that his estranged conservative father has “space cancer.”

“You know it’s funny, Pa. I can fly any ship in the galaxy, except a relationship,” says Ian in a line that should, by law, appear in every Star Wars movie from now on. The video also features a number of fake blurbs from media outlets, including one from Variety that asks the question we’re all thinking all the time: “Why can’t all movies be set in the Star Wars universe?”

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Pay me to write for you, you coward.

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