Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Heroes: "Close To You"

Illustration for article titled Heroes: "Close To You"

I'm gonna level with ya, people: I don't know what to say. This episode certainly moved a lot better than previous ones, and actually managed to include more characters than normal to surprisingly not clusterfucky effect. But, of course, it wasn't compelling, and the only decent parts were plot points that came about now of all times—insultingly late in the season, and the result of the writers jumping over unnecessary hurdles they placed for themselves like the worst olympian ever would do. It feels like a mad dash for the finish line, only to start anew next season (presumably) with what will be touted as a fresh start, but will actually be more of the same. Make it stop.

Given how much this season has meandered around the black hole of nothingness in the great beyond that promises sweet relief, it's amazing how neatly things get resolved tonight, actually. Hiro, because he'll never be allowed to use his powers on a show about using powers, was still trapped in the fucking terrible pattern of speaking in a coded clump of pop culture references. He convinced Ando to take him to an asylum where Suresh is being held (hey, great!), and using Ando's never-fully-explained "red" ability, the two bust Mohinder out and, somehow, cure Hiro. You heard it: Turns out all he needed was a little Red Wine poured all over his Mind Grapes, so to speak, to cure the murkiness of his brain caused by a person who could directly get in there and fuck it up. Just needed a jump start. Yep. (At least he's speaking normally again and can travel through time and space without getting nose bleeds… except he used to have trouble with that all the time, so who the fuck knows.) Samuel got his precious Vanessa—aka Ellen Tigh from Battlestar Galactica, aka the woman the show introduced last episode—and got to have a moment with her where he puts his cheek against her neck and sort of just lets it sit there. Parkman got his motivation to put down that ratatouille cook book and get out there, scare some shit up. Peter had a dream and smashed a cello. Bennet, I don't really know what he got. His Claire Bear remained protected?

It's all building to something, but we still don't really know what. And every time they hint at it I wish for a Carnivale-like situation (we've already got a poor man's version of the aesthetic), where we see the bad guys' sinister plans right from the get-go and the action cuts back and forth. I could maybe understand the focus on Deaf Girl if they'd built her in earlier on and we saw her true purpose—hell, I might even be willing to ignore her irritatingly vague power and Japanese video game-like music ability. Or things like Bennet getting that haircut while in his own apartment between last week's episode and this one.

This is just boring.

Stray observations:

  • It occurred to me tonight that this may very well be the highest grade I give any episode this season, because they all have sucked. What do you think, guys: Should I rejigger the grading scale? Maybe it doesn't make sense to do that midway though, but it would at least validate all that "A! A! A!" chanting I do while viewing.
  • Did Parkman ditch his son all day to go gallivant with Bennet, btw?
  • What, no "Slow Burn" this week?