One of the great recent cinematic pleasures—in the now-storied Before Times—was going to the theater with a group of like-minded (and, to be perfectly honest, incredibly stoned), movie-loving companions to participate in the hilarious communal experience of watching a big silly movie like Venom. And it for this reason and this reason alone that we will not advocate for the COVID-friendly VOD release of Morbius, Sony’s next installment in the universe of Spider-Man spinoffs, which are only really spinoffs in the sense that they employ Spider-Man villains as a capitalistic mechanism to—you know what, it doesn’t matter. The thing is that we deserve to see Morbius, a film in which Jared Leto plays the ghoul of Keith Raniere’s past (or is Raniere the ghost of Leto’s future? It’s hard to say), in an actual movie theater. With friends. Probably most definitely under the influence of illicit and/or legalized substances.