Inventory: 15 Lamentably Lost One-Season TV Wonders
1. Cop Rock (Fox, 1990)
Between executive-producing L.A. Law, Hill Street Blues, and NYPD Blue, Steven Bochco tried a radically different twist on his usual cop programs: a show that worked like a Broadway musical, with cops, criminals, victims, and bystanders alike suddenly breaking into emotional, stylized song-and-dance routines. Critics used to Bochco's grim-and-gritty style derided Cop Rock as the worst show in history; ratings were abysmal, and the series was cancelled 11 episodes in. Cop Rock doesn't work terribly well as a police drama: It's overwrought and campy, and often reads as a program-length adaptation of Glenn Frey's "Smuggler's Blues" video. But even the cheesiest musicals are often rousing and fun, and it's easy to admire the show's daring. Sure, it's a little ridiculous when a black-market baby-seller sidles up to a childless couple, singing about his wares ("It ain't a question of morality / I'm not concerned with any trumped-up illegality / We're just one big happy family / It's a pleasure doing business the American way"), but no more so than any other rock-musical moment.
2. Harsh Realm (Fox, 1999)
Only three episodes of Chris Carter's flopped follow-up to The X-Files and Millennium ever aired, though nine were produced, and they all made it into the DVD box set. Unfortunately, they don't offer any kind of plot resolution, so it's impossible to tell whether Carter was actually going somewhere with the show's intriguing story. Set inside a virtual-reality world created by the military to let soldiers experience the "simulated crisis scenario" of a terrorist attack on New York City, the show followed a sort of Apocalypse Now line, with callow young soldier Scott Bairstow sent into the simulation to find and kill military vet Terry O'Quinn (Lost's John Locke), now a dictator in the virtual realm. Mysteries abounded, and the show pulled a slow reveal, alternating between Bairstow's adventures in a world largely indistinguishable from a post-apocalyptic America, and his fiancée's real-world attempts to find where the military is hiding him. In some ways, Harsh Realm was ahead of its time—it might have actually been a success with Lost fans prepared to deal with long plot arcs and unfolding weirdness.
3. The Dana Carvey Show (ABC, 1996)
Today's Saturday Night Live cast members play their parts like crappy party tricks, but Dana Carvey delivered characters like the Church Lady and the Grumpy Old Man with just the right balance of silliness and conviction. Carvey's own show tried to hold onto what was good about SNL, but it also had the cheap-and-hyper feel that gradually made SNL more and more boring. The Dana Carvey Show's seven episodes were dotted with the occasional clunker skit or cheesy visual gag, but the already-strong duo of Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell (who got almost as much screen time as Carvey himself) was usually enough to prop things up. The series' very first skit—Bill Clinton breastfeeding puppies and a baby—probably made things harder on the show than they had to be. But the fickle sponsors would've gladly returned if they could have foreseen the success of equally offensive shows like The Office and The Colbert Report. Also, it's hard to imagine a writing staff that included Colbert, Carell, Robert Smigel, Bob Odenkirk, Charlie Kaufman, Louis C.K., and Dino Stamatopoulos assembled under one roof ever again.
4. Now And Again (CBS, 1999)
John Goodman, mild-mannered businessman, gets hit by a subway train and has his brain transplanted into Eric Close, test-tube-baby super-spy. Close has to tackle the U.N.C.L.E.-esque tasks set by mysterious, omnipresent handler Dennis Haysbert, while trying to evade the government's surveillance and help his cash-strapped wife and daughter. This Glenn Gordon Caron production was difficult to market due to its oddball mix of drama and wisecracking science-fiction elements, but the charismatic stars and imaginative plots hooked some fans. Citing the show's expense, CBS declined to renew it after a season-ending cliffhanger in which Close and his family made a break for freedom while the army surrounded their house.
5. Cupid (ABC, 1998)
Talk about a wacky premise: Psychiatrist Paula Marshall has a patient who thinks he's Cupid, barred by Zeus from Mount Olympus until he unites 100 couples with no help from divine powers or magic arrows. This dramedy was an early showcase for the crackerjack television sensibilities of Rob Thomas, creator of Veronica Mars, and it starred Jeremy Piven as the desperate, flustered, but smooth-talking love god. It was a treat to watch him herding romantic cats every week under Marshall's skeptical but flattered eye, without knowing whether his story was true or a massive mental delusion. Fourteen episodes aired before ABC pulled the plug, but Thomas clearly has a soft spot for his first creation—he's cast its stars in guest roles and hidden the names of its characters in the background scenery on Veronica Mars.
6. Nothing Sacred (ABC, 1997)
ABC got hit with sponsor pullouts and boycott threats over this nuanced, liberal-leaning show about a Roman Catholic priest dealing with conflicts both worldly and holy. The show got mentioned recently during the Book Of Daniel flap, but Sacred was really a workplace drama like ER that happened to take place in a church. Hunky, soft-spoken, idealistic Kevin Anderson led his staff through an unusually realistic depiction of post-Vatican II Catholicism, facing weekly crises about budget, social ministries, gender roles, liturgy, and occasionally doctrine. Hammered by conservative Catholics opposed to the show's emphasis on the Catholic Church's human face, the network sacrificed Nothing Sacred to the all-powerful NBC Thursday-night lineup. Inevitably, poor ratings forced its cancellation after 15 episodes, leaving four installments (including the controversial "HIV Priest") unaired.