It's time we watched a docu-drama about TLC

By Sonia Saraiya | October 21, 2013 | 5:05am

Aux Features Breaking Bad

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, October 21. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK
CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story (VH1, 9 p.m.): VH1 has given TLC the Behind The Music treatment twice already, but now, with CrazySexyCool, it’s going for fictional reimagining, like a Civil War reenactment for R&B’s greatest group of the ’90s. This has trainwreck written all over it, right? Marah Eakin reviewed it early and gave it a good old-fashioned D, because it’s “goddamn hokey.” It doesn’t help that two of the three former band members executive-produced the film and that the acting is a tad inconsistent. But hey, with the ghost of baseball preempting a few of Fox’s new shows on an already slim night, what else are you going to watch?

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REGULAR COVERAGE
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.): Banana Man helps Finn and Jake fix and old truck, but along the way, he becomes convinced that Princess Bubblegum is a reptilian replicant, based on something silly he heard on late-night talk radio. We are relatively sure that Oliver Sava is not a reptilian replicant, but we also don’t really know what a reptilian replicant is.

Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): The park guys try to win a bet by telling the scariest story at their Halloween party. No one gets to recite all of Breaking Bad, which is annoying, because that’s Alasdair Wilkins’ scary story of choice.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Ted gets to choose between three different women for the wedding weekend, which means those poor kids are going to be even more confused than ever about how Ted met their mother. “A dating competition, dad? Like on The Bachelor’s season 43?” Donna Bowman prefers The Bachelorette, herself.

Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.): Octavia Spencer guest-stars in tonight’s episode, “Six Thousand Bootleg T-Shirts And A Prada Handbag.” We fervently hope this does not become a weird satire of The Help. Todd VanDerWerff would like a Prada handbag, also.

The Blacklist (NBC, 10 p.m.): James Spader is still Spadering it up over in this NBC spy drama. This week, a courier is traveling with a very expensive package that some Iranians want, and Spader’s Red is going to do something about that. Phil Dyess-Nugent is googling the definition of “courier” now, and will be back with us shortly.

Hostages (CBS, 10 p.m.): In the “harrowing” ending of last week’s “2:45 PM,” Ellen Saunders watched her husband get shot by their kidnapper just as she and the kids were poised to escape to Canada. Tonight in “Truth And Consequences” she returns to try to save her husband. Sonia Saraiya hopes the kids escaped, and took that terrible drug-dealing subplot with them.

WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.): In no way have we stopped covering this show, but for potentially baseball-related reasons, Fox has put its weirdest fall debut into repeats for the month. If you haven’t caught up, here’s your chance to catch the first five episodes.

Basketball Wives (VH1, 8 p.m.): The women all get together to discuss how hard it is to be married to basketballs. Sure, he’s orange, but does he understand your feelings?

Half-Ton Mom, Half-Ton Dad, and Half-Ton Killer? (TLC, 8-11 p.m.): For your edification and potential discomfort, TLC is airing repeats of its groundbreaking trilogy on half-ton humans in America.

Life According To Sam (HBO, 9 p.m.): Sam is a 13-year-old living with progeria, a disorder that ages those afflicted with it extremely rapidly. In this Sundance-nominated documentary, Sam and a group of other patients take part in a clinical trial to try to find a drug that can slow down this disease. The study is run by Sam’s mother, Leslie Gordon, a medical doctor who quit her job when her 2-year-old was diagnosed to found the Progeria Research Foundation. Molly Eichel took a look in our TV Reviews section.

Cocaine Cowboys (CNBC, 8 p.m.): A documentary about the violent drug wars in Miami in the ‘70s and ‘80s. The 2006 production includes interviews with former smugglers and dealers. Bound to be a sunshiny, cheery start to your week.

Do The Right Thing (Showtime Too, 7:30 p.m.): Spike Lee’s Oscar-nominated film about racial tension in Brooklyn takes place well before the Barclays Center existed and Williamsburg was a thing. It does, however, feature pizza and loud music, so some things never change.

The English Patient (Flix, 8 p.m.): Come see the film that Jerry and Elaine lied to everyone about seeing almost 15 years ago! Starring everyone famous ever, including Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Colin Firth, and Naveen Andrews. Anthony Minghella directs.

Monday Night Football: Vikings At Giants (ESPN, 8:25 p.m.): The Vikings are 1-4, which isn’t great, but the Giants are 0-6, which is objectively terrible. Now these two weak teams try to fight each other to the death for our national amusement.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

The Walking Dead (Sunday): In “Infection,” the disease has spread to inside the prison, and Zack Handlen explores the series’ basic truth: Kindness is a weakness that will get you killed, no matter how good it feels at the time.