J.R. Ewing adds cancellation to the list of things that apparently cannot kill him

By Emily St. James  |  June 13, 2012 | 5:00am
TV Features TV

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, June 13. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK
Dallas (TNT, 9 p.m.): God only knows why TNT decided it was time to reboot Dallas. And God only knows why it decided that it was going to do a straight-up sequel, instead of just trying to do a remake or some sort of weird series that picked up much later in the old series’ chronology. All we know is that Steve Hyden has been dying to pick back up with where the characters have been ever since he watched the original series finale back in 19-dickety-two. (Okay, we don’t know that know that, but we’re pretty sure that Steve’s been clutching his television and emitting a high-pitched whining noise ever since that fateful day. Don’t worry, Steve! J.R. Ewing is on the way!)

REGULAR COVERAGE
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): This week, auditions move to Salt Lake City, which is apparently one of the foremost centers for dance west of the Mississippi. We were surprised to learn this, but Oliver Sava was not. He’s got a direct line to Cat Deeley, and she feeds him all the facts.

America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10 p.m.): It’s the season finale, and what says “season finale” more than having everybody dance to Katy Perry songs. Rowan Kaiser actually got a screener for the season finale of The Killing, and he’s pleased to report that show will end with some Perry pirouettes as well.

TV CLUB CLASSIC
Arrested Development (11 a.m.): The second season gets into place with a fun-filled trip south of the border, down Mexico way. We’re betting there will be absolutely no shenanigans stemming from George’s twin brother Oscar being around either. Noel Murray has a twin brother named Murray Noel.

The Sopranos (1 p.m.): On many other series, pulling out a scene that had been cut from an earlier episode and inserting it as a flashback could have seemed like hopeless padding, a way to run out the clock on the final season. Todd VanDerWerff knows that here, it’s an important emotional touchstone.

Sports Night (3 p.m.): The gang down at CSC asks the important questions, and one of them is whether women belong in the locker room. Donna Bowman, however, asks herself whether a goatee really belongs on Dan’s face. We have to admit this is a far, far more pressing notion to us.

WHAT ELSE IS ON
The Dream Team (NBA TV, 9 p.m.): Remember the first squad of professional NBA players the United States fielded at the Summer Olympics? Remember how it made you feel good about the crushing dominance of a unipolar geopolitical system? Marcus Gilmer does, too, and he’ll review it for you.

Haunted Collector (Syfy, 9 p.m.): Hey, guess what? Tonight’s episode visits a haunted bed and breakfast! Gee, we’ve never heard of one of those before! Actually, we’re thinking of opening a bed and breakfast. Is there a supply store for them that sells authentic Civil War era ghosts? We could use one.

Duets (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): On the off chance that you were following this already-renowned singing show flop, you should know that it’s been moved to this timeslot, which is not exactly prominent and not exactly the best place to air what’s meant to be a family-friendly show. Better luck next time, ABC!

White Heat (BBC America, 10 p.m.): If you’ve been keeping up with this generations-spanning drama about a group of friends over the decades, tonight’s the finale, so you should probably get ready to find out which of the group is dead in the year 2012. Our prediction: all of them. Just like that one show!

The Mask Of Zorro (Encore, 6:40 p.m.): It’s another lackluster night for movies on TV, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something to watch, nonetheless. Here’s a 1998 swashbuckler that briefly made everybody think Zorro could be resurrected as a going concern. We were all wrong about that, 1998!

Y Tu Mama Tambien (Sundance, 8 p.m.): Phew. For a second there, we thought we’d have to recommend The Sixth Man, airing over on Cinemax. Instead, why not check out this moving, funny, sexy story about two boys and the older woman they road trip with, directed by Alfonso Cuaron?

MLB Baseball: Yankees at Braves (ESPN, 7 p.m.): Pretend it’s 1996 or 1999 again, and relive the World Series of those years in a fashion that doesn’t involve you breaking out Tony La Russa Baseball and frantically trying to recreate those lost powerhouses. Okay, so these teams are pale imitations. So what?

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Thorne (Tuesday): This miniseries concludes tonight on Encore, but Will Harris got the full look at the whole thing yesterday, so he can let you know if it’s worth dropping in on part two unannounced, like a bad house guest who comes out of nowhere and hasn’t seen the first half of your miniseries.

 
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