Jenny Slate is allergic to any form of rage, she tells The A.V. Club. So it was cathartic for her to express so much of it in Dying For Sex, the FX series based on real events and a podcast of the same name. The actor plays the chaotic, foul-mouthed, and hilarious Nikki Boyer, who is understandably pissed off at the world because her best friend, Molly Kochan (Michelle Williams), has terminal cancer. The show charts how, with her pal’s encouragement, Molly embarks on erotic adventures that she missed out on to make the most of the time she has left. Meanwhile, Nikki goes through all the stages of grief after becoming Molly’s primary caregiver, watching as her BFF’s health declines.
Over eight episodes, Slate shoulders the burden of portraying Nikki’s emotional evolution. It’s an intense, tearjerker of a journey that allows the actor to break type, considering she is known mostly for her comedic performances on TV (Parks And Recreation, Big Mouth, Bob’s Burgers). Dying Of Sex does have plenty of humor, which is used to offset the tragedy. Slate says this duality is what appealed to her about the role, which has earned her an Emmy nod for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie (as well as a Gotham Award win). And it has proven to the actor that she’s ready to take on similar projects.
The A.V. Club spoke to Slate about the doors she hopes this series opens for her, collaborating with Williams to craft a meaningful story about female friendship, and her goal of working with Guillermo del Toro.
The A.V. Club:Dying For Sex is your first limited series. What drew you to that format?
Jenny Slate: I love it when things are finite. I’m usually intimidated by the idea of something that could go on and on and on. I don’t know what that says about me psychologically. So, naturally, I love a limited series. And it’s longer than a movie, so you get even more time to be on set and have that big, wide, episodic story with a ton to take in when you prep. As a small person with a large appetite, this is the type of stuff I’m looking for at this point in my life, where there is so much information about a character and story beforehand. It’s not like I’m a writer, and this is season one with a second season on its way—where I don’t know what’s happening next yet. That’s also appealing to me in a different way, of just living in the mystery. We’re all doing that as people anyway. Who knows what I’ll be like next year in my personal life, but for now, I like this aspect a bit more. And it’s what I’m looking for.
AVC: As someone known for comedic performances, what was something new you learned while juggling the serious, dramatic stuff here?
JS: I learned to value moments for their intensity, not their genre, and for how they’re a functional part of a whole. In Dying For Sex, a scene that I think is a good example of this is when Molly is reading something she’s written to Nikki about what happened to her the night that she was sexually abused as a child. What it was, what happened, who was there, what it felt like for her: It’s all bare-bones and simple and yet so extreme. It’s a scene that’s not sparing anyone. Everyone watching the show is going to have to listen along with Nikki. And it’s horrible also because you know it’s true. This happened to the real Molly. The real Nikki, who is a dear friend now, had to listen to this, be there, and not run out of the room, which is usually what someone wants to do when they hear something so heartbreaking. And then the scene ends with a straight-up fart joke.
There’s a world in which we look down on our audience or we don’t expect our audience can take the heavy stuff in, so we dilute it with comedy in a way that doesn’t fit. So what this experience taught me as a performer is to value comedy as a tool for deep emotion. Yes, farts are funny, and it’s funny that Molly farts. But what’s richer, shines brighter, and feels powerful in between the comedy and the tragedy is the intimacy that allows Nikki to ask Molly if she farted and that also allows Nikki to come into the bathroom and be in Molly’s private moment and say things like, “Do you need me? I know you need me.” Intimacy is what we’re holding onto as people, and that’s what we’re showing here. The comedy and drama are both ends of that circuitry. They’re equal, so they need to have equal intensities in their charge. It’s just true to life, especially for the relationship between Molly and Nikki. To take them and their situation, because it is a grave situation, you have to admit to and perform what their friendship was, which was also really silly. They’re two people who loved to laugh, and part of the vitality that exists in them as a duo is because of their ability to laugh when something is funny, even if that funny thing happens in a pretty serious situation.
AVC: Since Nikki Boyer was involved in making the show and helped you prepare, what are some parts of her that you tried to bring to life?
JS: As an actor, it was exciting to play someone who needs to go through an emotional refinement, like taking raw material and reducing it to its core energies so that she can give everything that she has to Molly. Nikki can take all the power, dedication, love, ingenuity, and strength that she has and direct it exactly at Molly for her care. It’s targeted. That’s what Nikki has to do. But I am a person who is not comfortable with explosive anger. I don’t like being around it, and I don’t want to be around it. I don’t feel that I’m someone who behaves that way, and it was a big relief and a joyride to play someone who, at least at the start, just fully yells at people and is screaming on the street. The pilot has two scenes of Nikki doing just that. But then the series ends with her watching people, being an observer and listener rather than a person who is fully expressing herself every time. She’s the person who decides what other people say and do as a director. She has the stillness, an overview, and more control.
Nikki Boyer was generous in a lot of ways, explaining to me what her rage can feel like and helping me to get comfortable with performing that and having respect for a character who loses her shit. Because in my life, I have an allergy to that, especially now as a parent. I think what I brought to the role was my understanding that if a person wants to be a caregiver, they end up learning on the job. That’s what I did here; that’s what Nikki was doing, too. The one thing I tried to keep in mind is that in order to care properly, the caregiver needs to change as well. So I was keeping an eye on how my character needs to do that, even if she’s not in the same boat as Molly, who is heading toward an endpoint. Nikki is flying by her side and also doing her own thing. She’s going through a journey, too.
AVC: Nikki’s wardrobe shifts into comfort and casual the more she becomes Molly’s caregiver. How involved were you with that part? Because you’ve spoken before about how outfits impact the way you perform and feel.
JS: It affects me deeply, deeply, deeply. I was lucky to work with our costume department and with the head, Melissa Toth, who was so willing to listen. We had a lot of conversations. Our feeling became that at the start, Nikki wears a lot of jewelry and she likes to dress in a way that is sexy and actor-y. She’s in a lot of bodysuits even when she’s going to rehearsals because her movements have to have a sexy vibe. She’s feeling herself, and I had to feel like that comes naturally to her. As the series goes on and Nikki is in the hospital more with Molly, I wanted her to wear some of Molly’s things. We also tried to dress her in what I like to describe as what actors wear when they’re not working and practicing their craft or going to movement classes—so like neutral tones, cottons, large T-shirts. Nothing is distracting them, so they can focus on the work. Nikki goes into that mode. It’s not like she’s falling apart because I felt really beautiful in those sweatpants. They have their own sexuality to them, and that’s what the character [has]: She is a sexual person, and this is Dying For Sex. The one change we made was that the real Nikki always has a cool lip, and I asked my makeup artist, Christine Hooghuis, not to do that and just not put anything on me. I was telling her to just moisturize me and keep me as bare as possible so I could strip Nikki down in my mind since I’m affected by how my character looks. It’s a big tool for me.
AVC: A lot of the show relies on the bond you share with Michelle Williams’ character. What was it like to develop this goofy and uninhibited chemistry?
JS: Every minute of my work with Michelle was such a delight. She is everything I hoped to have in a scene partner. She’s obviously smart and talented, but she’s sensitive to the moment, which I am, too.So it felt like we jumped into each other’s arms from the start. There was no discussion about whether or not we could do that. It was like we clicked into something in the chemistry read, and that in itself was like watching magic happen. It’s a bit like falling in love because there’s chemistry. We are just drawn to each other, and it’s this beautiful, emotional, human feeling. I always left the set feeling like, “Wow, I can’t believe where we got to go today.” I’m proud of us. Working with Michelle allowed me to develop my legitimacy, and her trusting me allowed me to see myself more clearly. It helps build a stable sense of self-worth that I continue to enjoy and that I know I’ll bring to my next projects.
AVC: The entire season is building up to the agonizing finale in which Nikki has to bid Molly goodbye. How were you feeling as you prepped for those scenes and what were you hoping to evoke?
JS: By the time we filmed the finale, both of us were well-adjusted to what we were performing. The script was so incredible, and we knew we had to hop on and take the ride, no pun intended, for our show. We trusted each other. I mean, we did have a healthy amount of uncertainty going into every day about how we were going to play a scene. Sometimes you don’t know that even if you know all your lines and are prepared. All the preparation that you do—and I do a lot of prep—you also have to be open to the unknown. This is a show about so many feelings. So there was a tenderness about the finale and a bit of fear, too, with scenes of Molly letting go into death. As an artist, I tried to understand that the fear was appropriate and the amount of sadness that I felt in me was appropriate because it’s this extraordinary situation of dying and a finality that is being beautifully performed. I was so close to my character and I wanted to also capture the joy and love she felt for Molly. The real Molly did everything she could at the end of her life to live fully, so our main goal was to show this upswell of beauty even while on the hospice set. There was a great amount of attention, sensitivity, and a lot of care in that room, and it was a beautiful environment.
AVC: Like you said, the show ends with Molly as an observer. She’s watching two older women and fondly thinking of her best friend. What was going through your head while filming that closing scene?
JS: We didn’t have time for very many takes on that one, but what I decided was to watch these women and let the moment wash up on Nikki as if it were a tide washing over her. And it wasn’t the first time she’d noticed older friends like that. There’s not going to be a moment when she sees two friends together and doesn’t think of Molly. It’s like water receding and being left on that beach, watching it go. In those isolated moments, Nikki feels like, “Oh, I’ve had that,” and it’s bittersweet. Nikki is feeling the entirety of their relationship, and that’s what she’s going to live with. It’s a beautiful part of who she is, and that’s what I was trying to show in that moment.
AVC: This show has earned you your first Emmy nomination. At this stage in your career, what’s the significance of something like this?
JS: It’s a gigantic amount of encouragement, and it feels good. It’s appropriate for me to be doing this type of emotionally complex work at this point in my life, and I’d like to do more of it. I’m grateful for Dying For Sex and the Emmy nomination because I want to do more dramatic work, and I know that I can and I have such a hunger for it. I’d like to be in things that are dramatic but also scary. It’s my dream to work with people like Guillermo del Toro and to work in a heavy genre. I remember when HBO’s Sharp Objects came out, I watched it and thought Amy Adams crushed it and how something like that would be a great role to take on. Of course, I’d love to keep doing comedy and things that are funny. I keep mentioning scary things, but I think of a movie like The Silence Of The Lambs, where Jodie Foster plays someone who’s a professional but she’s also really frightened and really human. I have such an appetite for playing people like that now. I hope directors and writers see me in this piece and think of me as someone who can meet their project with a fuller skill set.
AVC: Speaking of Sharp Objects, you got to work with Amy Adams in the upcoming movie At The Sea.
JS: What a dream for me. I went from working with Michelle to immediately working with Amy. Once I got to the set of Dying For Sex, I made sure to journal every morning. I can be a little bit sporadic about it, and part of it was that I would write down what Nikki is doing in every scene, so I had a sense of where we were, because sometimes we would film out of order. But another thing is that I knew one day I was going to look back on it and realize this was the year I worked with two of my favorite actors ever. I felt the need to record everything from those experiences.
