Jersey Shore’s The Situation indicted on tax fraud just in time for summer, baby

Jersey Shore star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has been hit with multiple charges of tax fraud, the Associated Press says, including allegations of tax evasion, filing bogus tax reports, and falsifying records. It’s a stunning rash of indictments that could spell serious legal trouble for Sorrentino and his brother and business partner, Marc Sorrentino, while also serving as a reminder that summer’s almost here, baby! The shore!! It’s T-shirt time!!!!!!
The Sorrentinos had previously been indicted in 2014 over charges of filing fraudulent tax returns on the approximately $8.9 million The Situation had earned from his whirlwind years of celebrity stemming from the MTV series, a halcyon era when America briefly fell in love with the unapologetically self-centered antics of tanned assholes, back when that only had mostly cultural ramifications. The Situation parlayed his most beloved traits—taking his shirt off, saying “situation” a lot—into a series of lucrative deals, including endorsements for GNC vitamins and a protein-infused muscle vodka, and cash offers from Abercrombie & Fitch to please stop wearing its clothes. It was a simpler, golden time—nothing but beaches, nightclubs, and the occasional lawsuit for breach of contract.
Yeahhhhh buddy! Clubbing it up! Gym, Tan, Laundry! Failing to divulge a stint in alcohol rehab before agreeing to become the spokesman for a liquor brand! Grenades!