Star athlete Joey Chestnut overcomes injury, COVID, and protester to defend hot dog eating record
Chestnut won the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest for the 15th time by downing 63 dogs in 10 minutes

Warrior poet and American athletic icon Joey “Jaws” Chestnut has once again shown the world that he is not to be messed with. In past years, he’s been content to intimidate pigs, cows, chickens, and, presumably, raccoon anuses through heroic displays of processed meat devouring at the annual July 4th weekend Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest.
This year, while defending the championship title, Chestnut branched out a bit further to demonstrate that it’s not just slaughterhouse refuse that falls before him, but also any distraction that might arise from an injured leg, COVID recovery, or animal rights protesters.
The first two entries to the above list were immediately conquered by Chestnut as he emerged onto the field of meat battle on a pair of crutches, resolute in purpose despite a leg injury and recent bout with COVID. After being raised up both metaphorically and literally with help from the Nathan’s announcer and a rising platform, Chestnut looked upon his domain, raised a fist, and set out to show his subjects why he still deserves to be hailed as the reigning King Of Emulsified Animal Leftovers.
The first drips of hot pig juice had hardly cooled on his lips when a protester ran out onto the stage wearing a Darth Vader mask and holding a sign that read, “EXPOSE SMITHFIELD’S DEATH STAR.”