Jon Stewart lets John Cena's heel turn explain Trump-Zelenskyy feud

On a new Daily Show, Stewart explains why President Trump gave a five-knuckle shuffle to Ukrainian President Zelenskyy.

Jon Stewart lets John Cena's heel turn explain Trump-Zelenskyy feud
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John Cena and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson turned the wrestling world upside down with a generation-defining heel turn Saturday. After winning the Elimination Chamber and punching his ticket to Wrestlemania, consummate babyface John Cena, who spent his long career in the Squared Circle as a good guy, ended his streak with a quick nut shot to WWE Champion “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes. Offering his soul to Johnson, Cena shocked the WWE Universe and gave Jon Stewart and The Daily Show writers’ room the perfect metaphor for the unsanctioned brawl between President Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in a falls count anywhere Oval Office meeting that had foreign policy experts everywhere seeing stars.

On tonight’s Daily Show, Stewart spent an exorbitant amount of time, now known as an “Adrien Brody,” breaking down the metaphor between professional wrestling and the dismantling of the West. He explained that Rhodes was Ukraine, The Rock was Russia, and Cena was America, embracing Rhodes before delivering a low blow for the ages. Stewart, who was loath even to bring up Rhodes’ fascistic neck tattoo, which looks like something out of a Paul Verhoeven movie, connected the dots for the non-wrestling fans in his audience. Rhodes, the son of a plumber, thought Cena was on his side and, therefore, assumed he would stand up for Cena’s values, e.g., not being seen, wearing jorts, etc. Zelenskyy, too, believed he was entering the office of an ally and found himself across the ring from someone who smelled what Putin was cooking.

Now, the metaphor is, as Stewart admits, a bit simplistic. Frankly, we’re still a little surprised that he neglected to mention that former WWE CEO Linda McMahon, currently embroiled in the Ring Boy scandal, was confirmed as the head of the Department of Education today, with strong suggestions to dismantle it. But we digress. The fallout from the Oval Office meeting flipped the script on how many Americans saw their country. While not entirely pre-determined like a pro wrestling match, the event in the White House was by design. Cutting to clips of Steve Bannon admitting that his goal is to break apart the E.U., Stewart explains that the way America used to operate has changed.

“What a concise, centrally planned, social-engineering scheme. Here we are, the end result of a scripted arc culminating in America betraying an old alliance for the lure of a strongman partnership that carves up the world’s rich bounties and places classical democratic values behind transactional convenience,” Stewart says. “So say it with me, conspiracy theorists, ‘By design, it’s a New World Order.'”

We still can’t believe he left an NWO joke on the table, either, brother.

 
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