It's safe to assume that Jon Voight, of starring in Deliverance, fathering then alienating Angelina Jolie, and possibly owning George Costanza's used car in that one episode of Seinfeld fame, went to the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis/St. Paul yesterday partly out of political fervor, partly to promote his satir-iffic new movie An American Carol, but mostly to bask in the waves of adulation that come from being the biggest star in the room.
The Democratic convention may have been swarming with celebrities last week, but its Republican counterpart isn't entirely lacking.
A crowd of fawning delegates surrounded actor and longtime Republican Jon Voight as he made his way to a luxury box Monday evening, just after the convention-gaveled to order.
Voight, who stopped to sign several autographs and pose for photographs, told CNN he's supporting McCain because the Arizona senator is a "man of great strength, a man of compassion, and a man of good humor."
Several delegates even laid down before Voight forming a makeshift human walkway so His feet would not have to touch the ground as He alighted to his perch in the RNC luxury box. "Honor my back with your footsteps, oh Voight!" many of the delegates could be heard shouting. "What's it like to be an estranged grandfather for the 5th and 6th times?" several wanted to know.
Once aloft in the sky-high luxury box, Voight gazed down at the throngs of Voight-faithful below. He took out a box of #2 pencils from his coat pocket and began chewing them, then throwing the gently masticated pencils down to the crowd like yellow, pencil-shaped missives from heaven. "I've got Jon Voight's pencil!" several excited delegates exclaimed. "These are Jon Voight's teethmarks!" "Nice Seinfeld callback!" many remarked, "He's got such a good sense of humor."
Still, even though Voight was the only human celebrity at the RNC yesterday, Hurrican Gustav was the true star of the show, as evidenced by this clip of Jon Voight and the Hurricane being interviewed together on Fox news:
That's great coverage, Fox. If you just keep a camera on the hurricane at all times, no one can accuse you of neglecting the story.
In case you're wondering, Voight's assessment of An American Carol being a "satire like Voltaire" is spot-on, because if Voltaire were alive today he'd definitely be writing scathing put-downs like, "ACLU lawyers are total zombies."