Judging A Book By Its Cover

By Amelie Gillette  |  June 12, 2006 | 5:21pm
Aux Features Hater

Last week, Ann Coulter said something stupid and insulting about 9/11 widows on the Today show in order to get people to start talking about her, and buying her new book, Ann Coulter: I Slaughter Sacred Cows Then Lick Up The Offal, Buy My Book.

Anyway, Kathy Griffin was also on Today that day, and instead of plugging her own great show, Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D List, she immediately launched into what she does best: making fun of stupid famous people, like Ann Coulter. Specifically, Griffin called Coulter a "nutbag" and said, "What's she doing wearing a cocktail dress at 7 in the morning for?" (Watch a clip here)

Besides being funny, that comment got me thinking: Have I ever seen Ann Coulter in anything but a black cocktail dress? I think she's even wearing that dress on her new book cover, right?

A quick check of Coulter's oeuvre on Amazon confirmed this, but also revealed a startling trend: as she grows more insane, Ann Coulter is getting progressively more slutty on her book covers.

Let's take a look, shall we:

Coulter's first book cover didn't even feature her, probably because she was busy growing out her hair, or something:

But with Coulter's next book cover, the long, slow reveal began, with her angular, bony face emerging from behind a fake newspaper:

By the time

Treason rolled around, Coulter felt comfortable enough to show her stick-figure body, in a clingy, though not too revealing black ensemble:

That must have gone over well, because for her next book, Coulter apparently felt comfortable enough to work a look that can only be described as Baby Dominatrix/Teacher:

Ew. Which brings us to the present, the little black cocktail dress that might as well be a tank top. Notice how, in addition to the souless stare, Ann is now showing arms, cleavage, and suspicious airbrushing that gives her the appearance of hips:

I can't wait for her next book cover, when Ann sports a black tube top, revealing her eerily smooth, belly-button-free midriff.

 
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