Kate Winslet saves woman from burning building, Ryan Gosling breaks up street fight

In a world in desperate need of heroes, there is a force for good that will stand against the evil, and rescue from the darkness the unfortunate and the not-famous. They are the Arthouse Actors League, which so far consists only of Ryan Gosling and Kate Winslet, but whose recent efforts serve as a call to action to all independent film-loving actors who happen to be in the right place at the right time and aren’t horrible people. Their presence became known with the reports that, over the weekend, leonine kajillionaire Richard Branson was hosting an ordinary money orgy on his private island when a jealous God sent Hurricane Irene his way, reducing his 14-bedroom home to fiery rubble. Fortunately, one of Branson’s guests happened to be Kate Winslet, who wasted no time in swooping Branson’s 90-year-old mother into her stout and brawny arms and ferrying her to safety.