Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
We may earn a commission from links on this page

Lemony Snicket drolly explains Occupy Wall Street in 13 points

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The political and ideological inspirations behind Occupy Wall Street can be tricky things to parse out—but that doesn’t mean the movement’s principles can’t be broken down into easy-to-digest, primer-like morsels. To that end, author Daniel Handler (under his nom de plume Lemony Snicket) has broken down his impression of the protestors in Liberty Square—and the people and institutions they’re protesting—into 13 droll observations recently published at Occupy Writers, an online clearinghouse for writers who wish to show solidarity with OWS. Among those observations:

“People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.”

“Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.”

“99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.”

Read all 13 here, and imagine them spread across the handsomely illustrated pages of a book which can teach future generations about the time the dissatisfied masses reformed the corrupt forces of American capitalism—or, you know, the more likely thing, where nothing about the country’s financial infrastructure changes and the protestors snap up a small-press edition of the book from McSweeny’s, using the last bit of disposable income they haven’t been totally screwed out of. [Slate]