Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Let’s try to figure out what happened in that secret Infinity War trailer nobody will let us see

(Image: Marvel)
(Image: Marvel)

Look, we get it: internet movie trailer culture is a problem for big film studios, since they’d presumably like to maintain at least a little bit of mystery around their high-profile films. Not to mention rewarding fans who wait in line—sometimes extremely long lines—in order to get into panels at events like Disney’s D23 expo to see exclusive new footage. Which doesn’t make it any less infuriating to know that Disney and Marvel showed off the first footage from Avengers: Infinity War today—apparently showcasing an absolutely massive number of superheroes and villains, many of whom were in attendance at the panel—and nobody online got to see it.


At least we can sort of glean what happened in the trailer, thanks to write-ups from sites like The Hollywood Reporter and Vulture, who were there in person. You can read through those descriptions to get the full gist, but here are a few takeaways:

  • Cap has a beard, presumably because he’s still sad about Civil War.
  • Thor gets rescued by the Guardians Of The Galaxy, almost certainly has some pretty cute interactions with Teenage Groot.
  • Doctor Strange gets into the mix fighting bad guys with the rest of the superheroes.
  • Oh shit, Thanos throws a moon.

In case those bullet points didn’t make it clear, the movie sounds, frankly, buck wild. That’s without even getting into the panel itself, which saw Robert Downey Jr., Josh Brolin, Tom Holland, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chadwick Boseman, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Pom Klementieff, Karen Gillan, Dave Bautista, Don Cheadle, Sebastian Stan, and Anthony Mackie—a.k.a. about a quarter of the movie’s cast—sharing the stage. (Apparently, Bautista piped up to talk a little smack about his character Drax’s ability to take on Thanos, causing Brolin to reply, “Drax ain’t shit,” which seems like a pretty foolhardy thing to say to professional person-puncher Dave Bautista.)

Anyway, Infinity War smashes its way into theaters on May 4, 2018 but we’d damn well better see some footage of our own a whole hell of a lot sooner than that.