In an effort to make us feel absolutely terrible about the very minor accomplishments we managed in our youths, yet another genius child has surfaced today. And this one is bent on scientifically defeating death itself after graduating from university at age 11.
In an article from Australian outlet The Age we learn that Laurent “Little Einstein” Simons has now “become the youngest graduate in quantum physics” after completing “a bachelor’s degree with distinction from the University Of Antwerp in just 18 months.” The boy wonder, who lives in Belgium, has opted not to allow himself any time off for an extended juice break. He is now getting ready to study in the United Kingdom, Israel, and the United States as he works toward a doctorate that will take advantage of his “interest in biotechnology.”
This last point is crucial since the precocious little dude has ominously announced that “his lifetime goal [is] ‘immortality,’ or specifically the creation of technology that will allow humans to live forever.” Presumably having experienced an epiphany related to the frailty of human life at the moment of his birth, Simons knew he had no time to waste on this mission and “started secondary school at six and university at eight.”
For a better view of what this kind of thing looks like, here’s a photo from his Instagram where a tiny Simons is pictured giving his “first lecture” while wearing a backwards baseball cap and barely standing tall enough for his baby face to peek out from behind a pair of computer monitors. Laugh at your peril.
We should note, for anyone wondering how to address our species’ future overlord, that Simons may “find it flattering that people compare me with Einstein,” but ultimately prefers to go by his first name. “I think everyone is unique,” he says. “Einstein is just Einstein and I, Laurent, am just Laurent.”
Let’s hope that he, Laurent, remains this humble going forward.
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