Make T-Rex a sensitive picky eater pushover in Jurassic Park: Dominion, you cowards
Hey, Colin Trevorrow, it's time to really shake things up in the franchise
Everybody is going soft on us these days, and it’s goddamn infuriating. Seriously, how are the young boys of America supposed to grow up big, strong, masculine, and repress their emotional communication skills when they’re losing big, beefy role models each and every day? Now, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that they can’t even pretend to be a T-Rex anymore.
Per a report from the quivering liberal elite at the New York Times, the world’s most recognizable and fearsome of dinosaurs probably wasn’t the wantonly vicious, bloodthirsty apex predator we were promised, but instead, some kind of sensitive-gummed, wishy-washy picky eater.
“The jaws of Tyrannosaurus were powerful enough to crush bones. However, in situations where food was plentiful, they may have used their sensitive snouts to eat the more nutritious parts of their prey selectively,” Soichiro Kawabe, paleontologist at Fukui Prefectural University’s Institute of Dinosaur Research and co-author of a new study on the subject, told the NYT. “The diet of Tyrannosaurus may not have been as crude as we imagine,” they added.