Mmmm. You smell that? That’s a big juicy slab of schadenfreude sizzling on the news-cycle grill, as Entertainment Weekly reports that evangelical autograph hound Mike Huckabee has been ordered to pay $25,000 for publicly pumping “Eye Of The Tiger” out of a PA system at a rally celebrating noted neo-Know Nothing Kim Davis and her God-given right not to do her job last November. He didn’t ask Survivor—the band that performed the song—because his days as a YouTube celebrity have taught him that copyright hinders free expression by catering to a corporate model of music that itself is on the way out.
Just kidding, he probably knew they would say no, and stealing is okay when you do it in the name of oppressing gay people. It’s like a sin double negative. Regardless, the members of Survivor expressed their distaste for Davis and Huckabee’s politics at the time. Here’s how guitarist and co-songwriter Frankie Sullivan put it:
The $25,000 settlement, negotiated out of court, will be paid into a company owned by Sullivan, who can then wipe his ass with it and save the Charmin for the guests if he wants. Huckabee settled after his argument that the rally was a “religious assembly” and therefore a “noncommercial” venture was disproven by Sullivan’s lawyer, who pointed out that Huckabee had itemized the rally as a “presidential campaign expense.”
