Miley Cyrus only making music that is sexy, adult, and "believable" now
Although invitations are already being whittled and doves are preparing to be deep-fried for the impending nuptials of Miley Cyrus, a clearly concerned "source" has assured E! Online that Cyrus "one-hundred percent" intends to bray onto another recorded disc before wedding her Last Song co-star Liam Hemsworth, whenever the blood moon rises. What's more, this unnamed "source" claims that said album will be "very adult and sexy and believable," because she is ready to be sexy, you guys. She is a sexy grown-up! One who only does believable music, in keeping with her married grown-up sexiness. Anyway, the same "insider," who must preserve their anonymity lest they face the backlash for leaking such sensitive information, adds that—due to its being "believable," such as being based on a traditional Aeolian mode, only sexy—Cyrus is "having fun making music… for the first time in her career," finally awaking from the tormented, dark night of the soul that has forged all of her dirges to date. "We are watching a young girl turn into a young woman," concludes this so-called "source," unwittingly revealing themselves to be "creepy guys on the Internet."