Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, September 3. All times are Eastern.
Mistresses/Rookie Blue (ABC, 9/10 p.m.): As summer officially comes to a close, ABC clears out its remaining summer series to make room for the upcoming glut of fall TV. While Mistresses and Rookie Blue unfortunately ignored our suggestion that they do a mega-crossover episode, both shows reach season finales tonight. First up, Joss finally escapes her false murder charges and gets out of prison in the third season finale of Mistresses because this show is apparently even more dramatic than we thought it was. Then it’s Andy’s wedding day on the sixth season finale of Rookie Blue. It’s the last episode helmed by showrunner Tassie Cameron and potentially the last episode ever if the show isn’t renewed for a seventh season. Let’s hope “74 Epiphanies” is a fitting conclusion to the 73 episodes that came before it.
Under The Dome (CBS, 10 p.m.): News just came down from the dome overlords (a.k.a. CBS) that this season will be the final one for Under The Dome. They’ve promised that next week’s finale will both bring down the dome and finally answer some questions about how it came to be. Scott Von Doviak will believe it when he sees it.
Married (FX, 10:30 p.m.): Lina decides to skip out on the Mother’s Day brunch held in her honor. If that’s how she wants to play it, Dennis Perkins will just have to enjoy all these delicious waffles by himself!
Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.): Rapper A$AP Rocky shows off his awards while Scott Aukerman unveil his new sports movie trailer. Elsewhere, LaToya Ferguson considers changing her name to LaToy@ Fergu$on.
Review (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.)
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (FX, 10 p.m.)
Documentary Now! (IFC, 10 p.m.)
Futurama (10 a.m.): Zack Handlen has two Futurama movies down, two to go. Next up: Bender’s Game, which if nothing else is a solid pun that it’s surprising the show hadn’t utilized before. The gang gets medieval as they’re transported into Bender’s Dungeons & Dragons world. In other words, it’s just one step away from being a holodeck-gone-wrong episode. Zack is not a merry man.
John Hodgman makes the rare return appearance on our 11 Questions feature, answering this year’s brand new set of questions and one he actually posed himself in his first appearance. In between his charming witticisms he says profound things like this:
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don’t have to be economically successful to be happy. This is why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don’t want a middle class—because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean? A certain stability where people stop reacting out of fear and start reacting out of principle? They have the luxury to act and vote out of principle.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Rigby tries to make up for his terrible gift giving skills by finding the world’s best birthday present for Mordecai.
Food Fighters (NBC, 8 p.m.): It’s the season finale of NBC’s cooking competition that pits home chefs against professional one. A stay-at-home mom takes center stage in “This Soccer Mom Sizzles,” an episode title that manages to sound both patronizing and delicious all at the same time.
Beyond Scared Straight (A&E, 9 p.m.): Meanwhile, it’s the series finale of this A&E docuseries about crime prevention programs for teens. The final episode features highlights from all nine seasons so those who haven’t tuned in along the way can just get a general gist of all the scariness here.
Beyoncé: Fierce And Fabulous (Reelz, 10 p.m.): Reelz debuts this profile of Beyoncé Knowles, who, as far as we know, hasn’t really gone on to do anything since her days as the lead singer of Destiny’s Child.
The Night Of The Iguana (TCM, 6 p.m.): This 1964 film adaption of a Tennessee Williams play stars Richard Burton, Ava Gardner, and Deborah Kerr as lost souls who wind up at a hotel in Mexico. But it’s mostly remembered for behind-the-scenes gossip about Burton and his soon-to-be wife Elizabeth Taylor, whom he brought to the location set. Scandalous!
High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Disney, 8 p.m.): Did your What’s On Tonight? correspondent see this film in a movie theater on opening day? You bet she did! And she regrets nothing about being one of the first people to see this iconic musical performance:
College Football: North Carolina vs. South Carolina (ESPN, 6 p.m.): Lines are drawn as this football game pits Carolina against Carolina in the ultimate Carolina grudge match. Won’t somebody think of the children?!?
Mr. Robot: Alex McCown weighs in on the first season finale of Mr. Robot and reveals he’s actually been Mr. Robot all along. (Only one of those things is true.)