Newscaster delivers harrowing indictment of February’s bleakness

Killeen’s mussed hair, loose tie, and deadpan delivery provide the perfect complement to his sad assessment of lonely-looking buildings and abandoned umbrellas. “This looks like a place where people who are being punished are sent,” he says of downtown St. Louis’ frigid, concrete grays. With the camera scanning over stark, leafless branches, Killeen muses that “it’s as if there’s some awful truth out there in the trees.”

In the segment’s closing moments, Killeen recognizes Valentine’s Day and Mardi Gras, but opines that they’re both undone by Ash Wednesday. “What other month could host a holiday that’s designed to remind us we’re all gonna die?”

Ken Killeen, you speak for the curmudgeon inside us all.