Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

A couple years ago, some cabal of bad tastemakers decided it was about time to celebrate the mediocrity of the average male physique. Slight beer bellies, a side of man boob, and a smattering of chest hair suddenly became elements of the ideal body type, garnering praise from Instagram to print magazines. It was the dawn of the dad bod and schlubs were king. But what about the poor slender people who have been left behind? Where is the hope for a skinny man in a world of dad bods? Will no one think of the man with the washboard abs? Enter the Dadbag.

Conceived by London-based designer Albert Pukies, the Dadbag is essentially a fanny pack with a picture of a hairy belly plastered on the front that instantly transforms the wearer into a grotesque (but very Instagram-able!) version of their former self. In his original post on Bored Panda, Pukies describes his reason for designing the Dadbag, saying, “I’m desperate to have a dad bod but I’m also very concerned about the health risks associated with it.” Finally, health-conscious skinny people need no longer worry that society isn’t looking at them for five minutes. Now you can still be in good shape but occasionally don some fake poundage, as if to say, “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I were actually this shitty looking?”

Screenshot: thedadbag.com

Just to make things interesting, there are plans for six unique variations on the Dadbag. Shoppers will be able to choose between the classic Allen, the sun-kissed Wolfgang, the hirsute Sherman, or the Cronenbergian Magnus, depending on what kind of dad they imagine themselves being that day. Unfortunately, none of these are currently available, and Pukies says he’s “on the lookout for partners and manufacturers.” So, if you know someone in the fanny pack trade, hit him up and help this dad bod dream become a reality.

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Have Fun — Will Travel.

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