Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

OMG, Ladies! Have You Looked Into This Whole Prostitution Thingy?

Ladies! Has the recession got you down? Are you sick of thinking and/or feeling? Would you like to work in a glamorous, high-paying field that you have to keep secret from virtually everyone you know because of its horrible social stigma? Then high-end prostitution might be just the career for you!

Illustration for article titled OMG, Ladies! Have You Looked Into This Whole Prostitution Thingy?

From an excerpt of Superfreakanomics, the second book by economists Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner (via Jezebel):

Street prostitutes like LaSheena might have the worst job in America. But for elite prostitutes like Allie, the circumstances are completely different: high wages, flexible hours and relatively little risk of violence or arrest. So the real puzzle isn’t why someone like Allie becomes a prostitute, but rather why more women don’t choose this career.  

OMG, you're right! I never thought about it that way. High end prostitution does pay really well, have flexible hours, and there's a pretty good chance that you won't be arrested and/or viciously beaten, raped, robbed, stalked, or murdered. (Of course, with most jobs, the chance of any of that happening to you while on the job is basically zero.) And who wouldn't want to invite a never-ending stream of strangers into their home, have sex for hour after hour with people they probably don't find attractive, interesting, or even likeable, and hide their entire life from family and friends until they become a dead-eyed, emotionally-detached shadow of a person?  Just look at those escorts on HBO's Cathouse: They all seem completely healthy, happy, and normal living behind those locked gates! So far, none of them have suffocated on the desperation and depression that constantly surrounds them like a thick fog!      

What a stupid fucking question, writers of Freakanomics. Do you ever consider humans when you're considering economics? Do you ever consider the Tori Spelling movie, Co-Ed Call Girl? Because those are two things you should be heavily considering when "puzzling" over why more women don't become high-end hookers. Hmm, maybe most woman don't become prostitutes because there are literally thousands upon thousands of other, less dangerous, more enjoyable, less degrading, more-long-term, less illegal careers they could be doing. Careers where they didn't have to shower 7-8 times a day.

Certainly, prostitution isn’t for every woman. You have to like sex enough, and be willing to make some sacrifices, like not having a husband (unless he is very understanding, or very greedy). Still, these negatives just might not seem that important when the wage is $500 an hour. Indeed, when Allie confided to one longtime friend that she had become a prostitute and described her new life, it was only a few weeks before the friend joined Allie in the business.

Single? Like sex (with people you probably find unattractive)? Join Allie in her Happy High-End Hooker Club. But, what's this? The president of the Happy High End Hooker Club is resigning? Why?

She also enjoyed her work. But, all that said, Allie began looking for an exit strategy. She was in her early thirties by now and, while still attractive, she understood that her commodity was perishable. She felt sorry for older prostitutes who, like ageing athletes, didn’t know when to quit.

She had also grown tired of living a secret life. Her family and friends didn’t know she was a prostitute, and the constant deception wore her out. The only people with whom she could be unguarded were other girls in the business, and they weren’t her closest friends.


Sure. Like all people who enjoy their work, she wants to find a way, any way to get out of it entirely.

If Allie really enjoyed being a high-end prostitute that much, and if it was such a great, lucrative line of work that was totally worth all of the risk and trouble, wouldn't she just transition into becoming a madame? She could be the next Heidi Fleiss. Or the next Jeanette Maier. Because they turned out well!


Instead she's going back to college.

Her chosen field of study? Economics, of course.  

Of course? Oh wait, is Allie a robot?