If a satirical lyricist—a Weird Al type, perhaps—were to tackle this news story, it might go a little something like this: “Barwitdadumbname owned by some dummies, suing the city over COVID like a bunch of dummies.... MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!” Just some silly fun for your Wednesday.
In what will undoubtedly be perceived as a rebellious tribute to the upcoming Independence Day, the owner of Kid Rock’s stupid bar—stupidly named “Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse—is suing the city of Nashville over COVID-19 restrictions, per a report in The Tennessean. For those unfamiliar with Kid Rock’s dumb bar, here’s a lil snapshot of what it looked like the weekend of June 13:
Don’t know about you, but this photo makes us feel like the guy who looks like Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall quizzically frowning in the bottom left corner. It is, as you might say, a mood.
Steve Smith, owner of Kid Rock’s dumb bar with the very dumb name, joined other local business owners in filing a lawsuit against the city of Nashville for loss of income due to COVID-19. According to the extremely reasonable complaint, which is not tinged with even the slightest bit of racism, there is a “disparity” between how Nashville has handled restaurants and participants in recent Black Lives Matter protests. Kid Rock’s dumb bar had complied with orders to shut down back in March, but when the city began reopening earlier this month, Kid Rock’s dumb bar had its beer permit suspended for violating restrictions related to COVID-19. Smith, who is clearly one of the greatest political minds of the Nashville bar scene in addition to being a master craftsman of metaphor, claims that “The Nashville government is, like, communist. They’ve got us behind a Berlin Wall. It’s against our constitutional rights.”
KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID.