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At this point, one has to assume Piers Morgan is a masochist. There’s seemingly no other explanation as to why the blustery British TV personality routinely invites people from various platforms to dunk on him and make him look the fool. This morning marked another such incident of self-induced humiliation as Morgan took to Twitter to stir up beef with Modern Family writer Danny Zuker, who delivered the public lashing he so greatly desired.

It all started when Piers Morgan tweeted a jab at fellow Brit John Oliver, calling him a “shameless old fraud” because Oliver uses words like “we” and “us” when speaking to his American audience. Danny Zuker, who has a lot of experience publicly shaming rich blowhards, took a moment to explain how America, and all of modern society for that matter, actually works.

Any casual observer would assume the spat ended with the invocation of the phrase “pud chugging.” Clearly, nobody can recover from that. But Piers Morgan presumably felt he hadn’t had enough, so he responded with a classic from his schoolyard days, telling Zuker that Modern Family (a show Zuker writes for and executive produces) “sucks” and that he’s “laughed more at funerals.” Oh boy, what a burn.


Of course, this is an allusion to Morgan’s own failed attempts to succeed on American television, both as a judge on America’s Got Talent and with his cancelled CNN interview show Piers Morgan Live. In a last ditch effort to save face, Morgan decided to change tactics and pretend that now he actually hasn’t seen Modern Family and doesn’t even know the names of the characters.


Some people just don’t know when to stay down.

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