Project Runway: "Run For Cover"

"Life isn't fair, so why should Project Runway be?" You have to love a reality show contestant with a charming accent who speaks only in perfect, bite-sized quips, right, Lifetime? Without Anthony, what would you have this season? Jesse, the misplaced extra from Swing Kids? That awful Seth Aaron? Mila n' Maya, aka Bangs The Elder and Bangs The Younger? They don't have personalities. If either of them did, they'd have already pulled the ol' Patty Duke "mirror" trick. (Something that, for Maya, would be her own personal Dorian Grey moment.)
But back to Anthony and his buckets of sassy sassafras. No, Project Runway isn't fair. If it were fair, then it wouldn't let its fans down so enormously. It would have flourished, or at least remained steady, after moving to Lifetime. It would have been able to last seven seasons without shriveling up into a pale, beige, crinkled husk of its former self. But Project Runway isn't fair. The show left us. It died.
Unfortunately, the show seems to be completely unaware of its dead, rotting, taupe state because it keeps herking and jerking through the motions. Case in point: Tonight's challenge. The designers follow the scent of decay to the Hearst building where they're told the next challenge is "the biggest in Project Runway history." (There are stirrings. Signs of movement. Maybe, just maybe could this show still be alive? )Then Tim reveals the challenge: design an outfit to be worn by a celebrity for the April cover of Marie Claire! And the celebrity is…..wait for it….this is going to be so good….wait for it…Heidi Klum! (Oops. Looks like all that post-mortem movement was really just some gas escaping from the corpse. It's dead.)
I wonder how many times they had to shoot the "titter with waves of excitement upon hearing the prize is to make a dress for a woman you see all the time to wear on the cover of a magazine no one reads" scene. Three? Four? They definitely couldn't have gotten that reaction organically. No one is that excited about designing the four inches of dress that will be visible under all the copy on the cover of Marie Claire. If the designers get this worked up over hearing that they're making something for….Marie Claire, sponsor of the show they're on, and…..Heidi Klum, judge of the show they're on, the producers should do this whole "Surprise! It's something you already have!" thing every week. Tim could come into the work room and say, "Now, designers. This is huge. The accessories wall you're going to be using thoughtfully this week is…..the Bluefly.com wall!" Or, "Designers, I have a special treat for you. It's the biggest treat in Project Runway history. The computer sketchpads you're going to use this week are….those HP notebook things!" Ugh. Honestly, this "historic" challenge is even worse than the one last season when they went to go meet a "famous American designer"….Michael Kors! And then made something inspired by a city he loves or whatever.