When it was announced last week that Rihanna had invited Chris Brown to appear on a remix of the Talk That Talk track “Birthday Cake,” onlookers deeply invested in the particulars of Rihanna’s personal life decided that it was not in her best interest to commiserate with her scumbag ex-boyfriend. Incredibly, Rihanna has defied the wishes of her anonymous guardians and released the Brown-assisted “Birthday Cake” remix anyway and, hoo boy, it’s a doozy. Not a doozy in the musical sense, because it’s unlikely anybody would be talking about this so-so remix if Brown wasn’t on it. (Not that anyone could’ve possibly anticipated that either way.) What makes “Birthday Cake” stand out is that zesty dash of Chris Brown cluelessness, which he tosses in by the handful with his opening line: “Girl I want to fuck you right now/Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body.” Seriously, who does a guy have to punch to get laid around here? (Rihanna counters with “I’mma make you my bitch,” which all things considered seems exactly correct on this remix.)
But, wait, that’s not all: Rihanna has returned the favor by appearing on a remix of Brown’s “Turn Up The Music.” And you know what? It’s totally great! (Just kidding, it’s pretty average.) Check them both out below. [via Spin]
"Birthday Cake"
"Turn Up The Music"