Lending credence to the idea that extraterrestrials have long plotted to steal all of Earth’s information on tequila and cargo shorts, Sammy Hagar is now claiming that he was once mind-probed by aliens—and he’s got the rambling anecdotes to prove it. While promoting his memoir Red: My Uncensored Life In Rock, Hagar told an MTV reporter that a passage in the book describing his dream of an alien encounter actually happened, saying that while he was in the foothills of Fontana, California—probably just enjoying the fresh, peyote-free air—he came across a spaceship piloted by two aliens who connected to his mind using some sort of interstellar WiFi.
“Aliens were plugged into me,” Hagar said. “It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren't even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, 'Fuck they downloaded something into me!' Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment, 'See what this guy knows.'” (While Hagar is unclear on the specific knowledge they gave to or took from him, it’s evident that it was not the difference between “download” and “upload.” #techburn)
Anyway, Hagar admits that this whole "The aliens stole my brain!" thing probably makes him sound “like a crazy person,” yet he still insists, “That friggin’ happened.” He even has an additional story from when he was 4 years old, and he saw a spacecraft hovering above a field in the middle of the day, upon which he “threw rocks at it and shit.” Clearly the aliens have been silently orchestrating Sammy Hagar’s entire life and career, suggesting what we’ve all long suspected: Gary Cherone was a reptilian plant. [via E!]