This is supposed to be a time of healing for our nation, but judging from the headlines, America seems hellbent on continuing the same cycles of bitter division, anger, and resentment that have paralyzed our country for years. For every one step we take forward, we take another two back towards our reactionary, hateful past. It’s long overdue for us to finally speak out about what few seem to have the courage to say right now: How can we ever expect to make amends and look towards our collective future, when only 13 states have managed to certify an official state dinosaur? It’s downright shameful.
After a month-long online (tax-funded) poll conducted by Massachusetts officials, over 60% of concerned, participating citizens opted for Podokesaurus holyokensis over Anchisaurus polyzelus to be ratified as the commonwealth’s official dinosaur. Last week, stalwart patriot and Massachusetts House Representative, Jack Patrick Lewis, introduced a pair of bills to certify the fair and democratic election of P. holyokensis to join the other dozen dinosaurs on record as official state ambassadors.
Discovered in 1910 near Mount Holyoke (hence the name), P. holyokensis resembles a stately, 3-6 foot long carnivorous trash duck on steroids, which feels appropriate for Bostonians. Still, that leaves around 3/4 of America to get its shit together and elect our true representatives: a bunch of calcified, lizard-brain dinosaurs who couldn’t handle the rapidly changing climate of the world around them.
It’s time to do the right thing, patriots.
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