Shia LaBeouf confirms his penis will be doing real, unsimulated penis things for Lars Von Trier

Confirming Shia LaBeouf's recent averring that he and his penis are only interested in more challenging, adult-minded fare, the actor tells MTV News that, in its recently announced role in Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac, his penis will be doing actual, unsimulated penis things. "There's a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we're doing it for real. And anything that is 'illegal' will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening," LaBeouf said of the role his penis will play in the film, which Von Trier intends to shoot in both censored and uncensored versions. LaBeouf further asserted that his genitals and the genitals of his co-stars were all prepared to do "whatever is asked" of them—even, apparently, "illegal" things, whatever those may be in this context. It's all part of LaBeouf's new, risk-embracing attitude in turning away from blockbuster films, having recently lamented that studios "give you the money, then get on a plane and come to the set and stick a finger up your ass and chase you around for five months." From now on, the only one allowed to stick a finger up Shia LaBeouf's ass is Lars Von Trier.