For many Americans, the only thing more joyous than exercising their right to vote is finally ridding themselves of the endless yard signs, unwanted phone calls, and hate-filled TV commercials that have defined election season for decades. Maybe, if George Washington and his pals had known how unbelievably annoying elections can be, they would’ve thought twice about all of this democracy bullshit. Unfortunately, America can’t truly celebrate the end of voting until it finds out the who the various winners are, and—just like in previous years—Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will be ready to make that process a little less unbearable.
On this election day—which is next Tuesday—both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report will do their shows live at their usual times so Stewart and Colbert can make jokes about whatever results happen to be in by then. The Daily Show, which is calling its presentation “Democalypse 2014: America Remembers It Forgot To Vote,” will feature an appearance from Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee. Then, The Colbert Report‘s “Midterms ‘014: Detour To Gridlock: An Exciting Thing That I Am Totally Interested In—Wait! Don’t Change The Channel. Look At This Video Of A Duckling Following A Cat Dressed Like A Shark Riding A Roomba! ‘014!” will have—in addition to a way better name than Stewart’s coverage—Colbert discussing the night’s events with The Daily Dish‘s Andrew Sullivan.
Of course, this isn’t a presidential election, so there won’t be as much nationwide/worldwide significance to the results as there was back in 2012, but this is still a big deal for some of America’s less-important elected officials, so let’s all agree to pretend we care. Also, with Colbert leaving soon for the greener pastures of network television, this will probably be the last time we get to see the “Stephen Colbert” character ironically report on an election, which means the future of this kind of coverage is going to be even more boring than it already is. Why must you abandon us, “Stephen Colbert” character?