I tried forever to come up with a good testy/testes joke to lead off this week's blog, but nothing quite worked. (Closest: "You could wrap each of these Survivor contestants in tiny individual scrota, because they're all a little testy.") Anyway, you get the point. The snappishness of episodes one through three spilled over into outright hostility in episode four, as Courtney wildly overreacted to Jean-Robert's warning that a pot might be hot–"I don't like it when you yell at me," she barked–and Sherea flipped her shit over Dave's constant yapping and micro-management.
Naturally, the reward challenge this episode has the tribemates having to work together, in pairs, to move fireballs with giant chopsticks–one chopstick per person. (Because they're in China, you see.) Most of the contestants figure out pretty quickly how to make this work, by sort of digging up in unison and moving the ball forward a few feet before trying again. Dave, always certain he knows a better way, tries instead to lift and stabilize the fireball before stepping forward, which means he and his partner repeatedly drop the ball with no advancement. So Zhan Hu loses the reward.
Then, for some reason, Fei Long brings Dave over to stay for a day as part of the "kidnapping" part of the reward, and Dave changes from a control freak to a garden-variety freak, hugging everybody at the slightest provocation. (Courtney: "I'm from New York." Dave: "Oh, you make me miss New York soooo muuuuch!" [Hugs Courtney uncomfortably.]) Only James isn't having it. When Dave leans in, James trains his steely gravedigger's gaze on Dave and growls, "I told you about the hugging."
Meanwhile, back at Zhan Hu's camp, they're quickly finding that without Dave around, they have no sense of direction. But not wanting to be beholden to the organizing efforts of a guy they can't abide, they pull themselves together to fetch water and start a fire. All except for Sherea, who can't believe that with the cat away, the mice are still working. Sherea just lays back and watches them, as if daring them to ask her to help. Because she's got her excuse at the ready. (All together class…she's "conserving her energy for the challenges"…that's right.)
The immunity challenge–a flinging bolos at Ming vases kind of thing–comes and goes without much drama, even though the score is close, everyone gets to wear cool armor, and the producers keep inserting this weird slow-motion bolo effect before a team scores. (It's kind of like when you go in for a dunk on a video basketball game, and the screen switches to a close-up of your guy jamming it home.) Anyway, Fei Long wins again, and though Dave makes a last ditch plea for himself, insisting that he'll change his personality and still help out, his tribemates unanimously send him packing.
But don't get too smug about it, Sherea. You're on the list, baby. You and your dingy brassiere on the list.