Look, we get the appeal of cargo shorts. With so many pockets you can carry some serious cargo, from keys and wallets to loose change, hammers, and VHS tapes. Still, public opinion of the shorts has wavered over the years, as tighter and slimmer pants have taken precedent over loose and bulging ones.
It’s been a good couple of years for hate, the human emotion that never seems to go out of style. From helping you scream at idiots in traffic, to inspiring social-media careers and presidential executive orders, hate is the one thing we all have in common. But there’s no bigger bummer than meeting someone who seems…
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From 20th Century Fox:
In the months since Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland, you've probably spent entire hours, maybe even entire days pitying poor, poor Roman Polanski. Just the thought of him sitting there under house arrest in his beautiful Swiss chalet, cruelly confined like a caged bird that plead guilty to having unlawful…
Brunch was invented in 1540 by a painfully stout, gout-ridden King Henry VIII. Virtually immobilized by a gangrenous leg wound, the King was unable to hunt or joust or stand for longer than 10 minutes, and so he devised a new royal pastime: constant eating. The legend goes that on one dreary day in March of 1540, King…
Sadness is all around us. This is Jessica Simpson's fault. She is a walking lacrimal gland, the font from which of all the world's tears spring, a (semi) conscious cloud of despair—yes, all sadness stems from Jessica Simpson.
Throughout the course of television history, there have been many shows about many different kinds of teen angst: Dorky teen angst (Freaks & Geeks, The Wonder Years), popular teen angst (Beverly Hills 90210), girl detective teen angst (Veronica Mars), show choir teen angst (Glee), cartoon teen angst (Daria),…
Every once in a while, a pop-culture "controversy" will bubble to the surface like so many frothy vomit punchlines told by Glenn Beck, and it will fill you with a vague fog of rage. Certainly something about it makes you angry, but you aren't sure what. You need to hone your ire, whittle it down to a sharp prison-yard…
If you watch The Real Housewives Of NYC, then you know that Countess Luann Delesseps is probably the least likely of all the walking leather handbags shot with Juvaderm on that show to attempt a singing career. (If you don't watch The Real Housewives Of NYC, then you have no idea who Countess Luann Delesseps is, and…
Twilight and Twilight: New Moon have already established that vampires make the worst boyfriends. They're controlling and moody and stalk you via weird ghost visions every time they sense you're in "danger"—which translates to every time they sense you're talking to the adorable, perpetually shirtless and glistening…
There was a funny scene in Damages this season where Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson) observes a table read of a screenplay based on his life. At one point, after watching the read-through of a deposition scene, Frobisher gives a helpful note to the actor portraying his late attorney, Ray Fiske: "Ray Fiske was gay," he…
Now that VH1 has decided shutter Tool Academy and dismantle the Rock Of Love franchise, hundreds of tools are roaming loose, the scent of their self-tanner filling the air, their haunting calls of "Woooooo!" echoing all around. Who will televise these tools? Who will document their courting rituals? Who will give them…
When we last checked in with Penn Station smoothie place spokesman Stephen Baldwin, he was in the UK playing a rousing round of the Unlikely Martyrdom Scenario Game with his fellow contestants on Celebrity Big Brother—just like Job would have done if Job were real and alive today. You see, Stephen Baldwin is a lot…
The Federal Reserve has re-designed the $100 bill because, why not? The currency could use a little redecorating, no? We owe it to ourselves. Literally.
When it comes to movie titles, it's best to go as simple as possible. To do otherwise would create unnecessary confusion, so just name an object in the movie and keep the syllable count low (People don't like a lot of syllables jumbling around in their head like pinballs). For example: If the movie is about some…
Ladies! Have you bought your tickets for Sex & The City 2: The Re-Sexening yet? Silly question: Of course you have. The second you heard Kim Cattrall say, in her best drag queen voice, "I can hear the decadence calling!" your ovaries secreted a rush of progesterone that caused your Girls Night Out to sync up with the…
Are you between the ages of 25-34? Are you too young to be considered Generation X but too negative to be considered a Milennial? Are you tired of wondering what's going on underneath Bret Michaels' bandanna? (Trick question. We all know what's going on under there: more bandannas. It's just bandanna after bandanna…
For months now, I've assumed that this thing known as Kedollarsignha is what happens when we allow a feral child to be raised by discarded Fergie singles and a helium tank. Though it pains me to say this, I was wrong. This thing known as Ke$ha i$ not a feral child raised by inanimate objects in a cave lined with tin…
You might think that when a celebrity "makes" a signature perfume, all the celebrity does is slap his/her name on a perfume bottle. You probably think this because that's exactly what happens. Occasionally, a celebrity will take some pills, put on a lab coat, and sniff a bunch of fragrance sticks, but only if they're…
