Terrifier 3 is heading to theaters early; Art’s tiny tophat still missing

Despite the promise of a Halloween adventure the season belies, Art’s latest jaunt around town—God willing, in his adorable little hat—will be a yuletide treat. Terrifier 3 brings the terror of Terrifier to Christmas time, giving Art a Santa costume but, as of this reporting, no tiny stocking hat. Curious.

Horror fans agree: If Art wears his little hat, they will come. The last Terrifier movie, the cryptically titled Terrifier 2, made more than $15 million at the worldwide box office off a budget of $250,000. Art stuffed over 62 times his budget into that little hat and took it to the bank. So, Cineverse and Bloody Disgusting, what gives? Why isn’t a miniature Santa hat fashioned to the side of Art’s head, indicating that this murderous clown is up for a good time? We don’t understand it. We’re already confusing trick-or-treaters into seeing a Christmas movie. Haven’t the fans suffered enough, or are they making this movie for critics?

We hope the makers of Terrifier 3 come to their senses and confirm that Art will, in fact, wear his signature tiny tophat in the film. Until then, we’ll be watching this story very closely, making a list, checking it twice, and going to find out who’s naughty (not wearing tiny hat) and nice (wearing tiny hat).