Due to a heady cocktail of stress, family tension, money concerns, overuse of tinsel, abundance of various nogs, and overuse of actual cocktails, many people get depressed during the holiday season. But boxy-sweater-peddler The Gap has a quick cure for those dreary, suffocating holiday blues. Simply watch the following commercial at regular intervals for the next six weeks, and your tired, old holiday depression will be thoroughly replaced by a deep, burning Gap-induced anger. Think of it as a rage transfusion. After all, would you rather be sad, slow-moving, and hopeless, or energized, alive, and full of boiling holiday anger?
Jason Biggs, Trey & Flo, Napoleon Dynamite, the guy from Six Feet Under, and Sandra Bernhard doing a Christmas rap, complete with biggest ham contest? Jesus, Gap. What did Jingle Bells ever do to you? This is the aural equivalent of pouring quick-dry cement all over the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
Also, Gap? It's not an official remix unless someone yells out, "Reeeee-miiiiiiix!" at the start of the remix. "This is the remix, ungh," is also acceptable.