The Middle: “Valentine’s Day VI” / The Goldbergs: “Cowboy Country”

The Middle: “Valentine’s Day VI”
The celebration of Valentine’s Day on The Middle has been an ever-evolving affair over the course of the show’s run, but that’s what happens when younger characters start to grow up and are forced to try and figure out what love’s all about. Now that the show’s in syndication, it’s pretty easy to stumble on an older episode that’ll remind you just how much the Heck family has changed over the years, but this week really underlines how far the kids have come since the beginning: this is the first time we’ve ever had a Valentine’s episode where every member of the Heck family has a significant other.
First, though, we’ve got to take care of a little loose end from last episode: the fact that Aunt Edie’s death has resulted in the Hecks becoming the new owner of Doris, the dilapidated Bassett hound that wore an oxygen mask and a diaper and basically needed a wheelchair to get around. Thank God for the Donahues: not only did they help watch Doris while the Hecks were out of town, but by being in a such a clean, pristine environment for an extended stay, Doris walked out of Casa de Donahue having been weaned off the oxygen and left with no need of either the wheelchair or the diaper. Also, they’ve been feeding her chicken and rice, which you know from the get-go is going to be better than anything the Hecks are ever going to provide (even if it may not occur to you immediately that they’re going to eat it themselves), so it’s no wonder that A) Doris spends most of the rest of the episode whining to go back to the Donahues, and B) it quickly reaches a point where the mere use of the word “Donahue” is enough to set the poor creature to whining. Basically, if the Donahue family doesn’t end up adopting this dog sooner than later, we’ll be very, very surprised.
Onward to Valentine’s Day! Sue’s the one with the most substantial plans for the day, even if she doesn’t necessarily know what they are right away: Darren’s decided to impress her with an elaborate scavenger hunt, and he’s trying to construct it behind her back, so that he can surprise her. Frankie’s game to help Darrin construct his master plan, even if she’s not willing to sit on a bench in the mall while wearing a cowboy hat, while Mike is…well, he’s Mike: when Darrin asks him for assistance, Mike’s best offer is to agree to help out in some fashion that doesn’t involve actually getting up from the couch. Sue knows something’s up, but the most exciting thing she can imagine seems to be a new sweater, so her mind gets blown a bit when she finds out about the scavenger hunt. Of course, it’s only destined to be blown even further: at the end of the hunt, Sue finds herself welcomed into Darrin’s new home, and although she successfully finds words of praise for his new digs as he shows her around the place, she’s left completely speechless at the end of the tour when he reveals that the place is for both of them and promptly drops to one knee and proposes. Are there wedding bells in the future for The Middle? This may be “The Year of Sue,” but I can’t imagine that’s the direction they’ll take the story. If Darrin was rich, maybe Frankie and Mike would press the issue and tell her that it’s in everyone’s best interest that she says, “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes,” but since he’s not, I’m expecting that Sue’s going to want to take things slower than that, if only because she doesn’t want to be distracted during the final weeks of her senior year, so the bigger question is whether Darrin’s going to be willing to take “no” – or even “not yet” – for an answer.
Next up, let’s take a look at Axl, who’s been in his relationship with Devin Levin long enough now that he should certainly be stepping up to the plate to do right by her on Valentine’s Day…except that she doesn’t want him to. Wait, is this some kind of trick? That’s what has Axl so worried: he wants to believe that she’s just as indifferent to the holiday as he is, but everyone’s telling him that no girl, no matter what she may say about the situation, does not want walk away from Valentine’s Day without her significant other making some kind of effort at romance. So how does he handle things? After stressing over it a bit, he decides to get creative and celebrate National Radio Day instead, thereby providing him with an excuse to give her some stuff that he knows she’ll really appreciate: a dying house plant, some of their favorite fast food that he’s transplanted from the bag onto fancy plates, and – most importantly of all – a bouncy castle. As it turns out, he was right when everyone else was wrong, he’s read her like a book, and now that he’s already made her week, not getting her anything for Valentine’s Day is destined be a piece of cake…probably.
And now it’s down to Brick, who starts off the episode not really sure if he’s still dating Cindy or not, having not really talked to her in more than a month, but when he discovers that he is, in fact, still in possession of a girlfriend, he quickly finds himself trying to make Valentine’s Day plans with her. Cindy, however, completely causes Brick to freak out when she accepts his pitch to go get ice cream and adds that they’ll be kissing. Thus begins Brick’s first proper entry into romantic madness, during which time he starts fretting about having to take the lead as the kisser (unlike the family’s road trip to North Carolina last season) and not knowing when to do it or how to do it properly. The stress over the methodology is what earns the kiss the most laughs, and the laughter continues ‘til the end of the episode, thanks to no one ever mentioning to either of the kids, apparently, that their lip-lock really could’ve ended a few minutes earlier than it did. Still, when Brick finally walks away, he says that he “nailed it,” and, well, we’re gonna give that to him, because it’s not a bad first toast, is it?
Oh, before we go, we need to spotlight Frankie and Mike, who never actually get their own storyline but nonetheless get some great moments throughout as they react to the goings-on of the kids. Sometimes it’s an off-handed comment, like Mike yelling from the other room that he’s not going to chime in on Frankie’s discussion with Brick about dating because he doesn’t have anything to add. Frankie gets a few minutes to try her best to help Axl with his Devin Levin issues, and even though her response only serves to confuse him further, at least he knows she’s there if he needs her. And when Brick feels like he’s under pressure to deliver the best kiss ever, Frankie and Mike try to demonstrate that it’s not that hard for couples trying to kiss when there’s one taller person in the relationship and one shorter person, resulting in Axl feigning nausea and scrambling away from the scene. At the end of the episode, Frankie and Mike trade Valentine’s Day gifts, having each picked the other something special while wandering around the drugstore: among other things, she got him a Sports Illustrated, and he impressed her to no end by getting her something from “the ladies’ aisle.”
In other words, love’s as close to being in the air as it’s likely to get for the Hecks – all of the Hecks – so it’s time for them to just suck it up, bask in the moment, and make the most of another Valentine’s Day.
Stray observations: