The Murder Network takes America’s crime obsession to its natural conclusion

By Joe Blevins  |  September 21, 2016 | 7:15pm
Aux Features TV
The Murder Network takes America’s crime obsession to its natural conclusion

Critically and commercially successful shows like Making A Murderer, The Jinx, The People Vs. O.J. Simpson, and Serial have proven that what the public wants is real-life murder and plenty of it. In that spirit, Above Average has created a promo for The Murder Network (TMN), a sadly fictional channel aimed specifically at “you death-hungry creeps.”

The network’s imagined programming boasts a number of shows for all age ranges. Highlights include a quartet of feisty ex-mothers on a show bluntly called I Killed My Kids as well as Beloved Athletes That Went Totally Nuts, hosted by a dapper Oscar Pistorius. And for the sandbox set, there’s an animated series called Little Minds, Big Crimes, featuring “those two Slenderman girls.”

The sketch’s pièce de résistance is TMN’s vaunted “Dead Wife Block” of programming. Here, one very nervous-looking husband hems and haws his way through three different shows: My Wife Is Missing, I Didn’t Kill My Wife, and the inevitable I Killed My Wife But She Was Cheating. It’s the arc of almost every sensational true-crime story, all in one convenient night. About the only thing holding back TMN is its rather pedestrian logo, which too closely resembles the REAL Dairy seal of approval.

 
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